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THE BATTLE FOR MODeRN 1923


 chunks of flommus 

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Authors

Natalie Michelle

Flommist Natalie Michelle doesn't have a bio. She just rants.

Natalie Michelle
Wed 16 Aug 2017

on power and charlottesville

(buck­le in, it’s long) When I was in grad­u­ate school for in­ter­na­tion­al con­flict res­o­lu­tion, we stud­ied the ef­fi­ca­cy of Nye’s con­cept of ‘soft

Mor 

Natalie Michelle
Wed 16 Aug 2017

overheard

We should­n’t have to wait un­til a gen­er­a­tion dies be­fore we can em­brace new ideas. Let’s be open to be­ing flex­i­ble, we can’t

Mor 

Natalie Michelle
Sat 5 Aug 2017

hooray!

Af­ter an en­tire life­time  of sleep­ing on  hand-me-down and blow-up mat­tress­es,  I went, like a god­damn suc­cess­ful adult,  to an ac­tu­al mat­tress store, spent

Mor 

Natalie Michelle
Wed 2 Aug 2017

apparently the future of war?

I’m try­ing to un­der­stand ex­act­ly how trans­pho­bic peo­ple are defin­ing trans­gen­derism be­cause I have seen dumb fuck­ing opin­ions to­day, I mean, like, flat earth

Mor 

Natalie Michelle
Thu 27 Jul 2017

all is lava

Now I try not to judge how peo­ple par­ent be­cause I can’t even be­gin to fath­om what shoul­der­ing the bur­den of guiding

Mor 

Natalie Michelle
Thu 13 Jul 2017

trapped

That mo­ment when spend­ing an hour at the health mar­ket  metic­u­lous­ly plan­ning your high pro­tein,  nu­tri­ent rich menu for the week  be­cause seriously,

Mor 

Natalie Michelle
Sat 8 Jul 2017

roof

I’m not ex­act­ly sure if it’s heat map­ping, x‑ray vi­sion, or some form of ad­vanced telepa­thy, or even what I did to

Mor 

Natalie Michelle
Fri 30 Jun 2017

natalie making cocktails

“I feel like men are def­i­nite­ly crop dust­ing right now.” —Emi­ly “Or we’re sit­ting next to the men’s room.” —Stephanie   First Cock­tail: (Ex­act­ing

Mor 

Natalie Michelle
Wed 14 Jun 2017

stages of natalie getting a cold

Stage 1: De­nial.  “I don’t get sick. I nev­er get sick. This is just al­ler­gies, so I’m go­ing to push my­self physically

Mor 

Natalie Michelle
Thu 8 Jun 2017

missionaries

“Just as God guid­ed Joseph Smith’s hand to pull the box con­tain­ing the gold­en plates from the Earth, so shall you pull this holy

Mor 

Natalie Michelle
Sun 21 May 2017

loaded totchos

        If           an             air­line                 in­sists                         on                                         sit­ting                                                                         me                                 next                                        to the lit­er­al dev­il in tod­dler form                                        scream­ing at Mari­ah Carey’s pitch                                 at                                 400,000 db 

Mor 

Natalie Michelle
Sat 13 May 2017

you too can diy

So af­ter three months of ex­haus­tive work and a dai­ly les­son in Murphy’s Law, I am fi­nal­ly done with my bath­room renovation. 

Mor 

Natalie Michelle
Wed 3 May 2017

summer fashion statement

“You know what you need to walk the se­ri­ous­ly fash­ion for­ward streets of Om­a­ha? This deep V robe romper that will hang

Mor 

Natalie Michelle
Wed 12 Apr 2017

an invasive, threatening other

“You had some­one as de­spi­ca­ble as Hitler who didn’t even sink to us­ing chem­i­cal weapons,” —Sean Spicer, White House press sec­re­tary, 11

Mor 

Natalie Michelle
Tue 28 Mar 2017

just saying

There was nev­er a more painful­ly ac­cu­rate metaphor for ex­act­ly how my life works than be­ing just one inch shy of having

Mor 

Natalie Michelle
Wed 1 Mar 2017

that kind of guy you could get a beer with

George W. Bush also un­der­mined our democ­ra­cy by steal­ing an elec­tion (I would ar­gue both con­sid­er­ing what hap­pened in Ohio, Michi­gan, and

Mor 

Natalie Michelle
Sat 18 Feb 2017

vanity

Dad: Why did you tear out the dry­wall here? Me: Well, I bought a float­ing van­i­ty so I want­ed to in­stall studs so

Mor 

Natalie Michelle
Sun 12 Feb 2017

sulfur coated

This fuck­ing guy. Health­care is a fuck­ing right be­cause it’s a prod­uct of thou­sands of years of cu­mu­la­tive hu­man knowl­edge col­lect­ed across generations

Mor 

Natalie Michelle
Fri 27 Jan 2017

nazi stompin’ tunes

I made a playlist of anti-nazi punk jams to get you pumped be­fore you hit the streets.  It’s been so long since

Mor 

Natalie Michelle
Wed 25 Jan 2017

alternative learning this week

Boy has this been an ed­u­ca­tion­al week on so­cial me­dia so far! I have learned so many su­per cool in­ter­est­ing things such as:

Mor 

Natalie Michelle
Sat 7 Jan 2017

this is real life

Does any­one else have the con­stant fear that they are go­ing to just drop their phone and ac­ci­den­tal­ly post a pic­ture of

Mor 

Natalie Michelle
Mon 2 Jan 2017

maybe plan b

It was on day two of her hang­over that Na­tal­ie re­al­ized she need­ed to make a lifestyle change. She pulled out her

Mor 

Natalie Michelle
Thu 29 Dec 2016

‘hey look at me at the beach, omaha losers’

So it’s 35 de­grees and thun­der storm­ing. In Om­a­ha. Cli­mate change means the de­struc­tion of many of the ecosys­tems we rely on for

Mor 

Natalie Michelle
Thu 8 Dec 2016

loud noises, sparks flying

Me: “Yo, what are you do­ing? This looks crazy.” Dad: “I’m up­cy­cling this old propane tank into a drum.” “I’ve been lis­ten­ing to

Mor 

Natalie Michelle
Wed 23 Nov 2016

das turkeys

Smear­ing on some warpaint  and head­ing to  Whole Foods be­fore Thanks­giv­ing.   If you don’t hear back from me,  it’s safe to as­sume  I’ve

Mor 

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