this is real life

Does any­one else have the con­stant fear that they are go­ing to just drop their phone and ac­ci­den­tal­ly post a pic­ture of their naked butt on Facebook?

I butt-sexted some­one once, there is precedent.

A few years back, a mom in my friends list bought a new smart­phone from Best Buy that was de­signed to make post­ing your pix to all this here new so­cial me­dia a snap! 

Some time around 9 that night my feed start­ed fill­ing up with her nudes.

One step, one dis­tract­ed move, and then BAM! Their butts for the world to see!

“SO OK. I drop the phone. The phone goes into the buck­et which caus­es the buck­et to low­er, re­leas­ing the bowl­ing ball. The bowl­ing ball rolls down the lane and hits the chicken’s butt, the chick­en in shock then lays an egg, the egg sets off the scale un­der­neath which in­flates the bal­loon with then pops and that star­tles the mouse that runs through the maze and eats the cheese which is what caus­es the boot on the lever to swing for­ward kick­ing up the back of my skirt while the phone flash­es a pic­ture and the still-star­tled chick­en pecks the screen in a way that up­loads the im­age. Everywhere.”
—Natalie’s ac­tu­al real life ac­ci­den­tal nude self­ie fear

“You ac­ci­den­tal skank!”

“Who is to laugh? And what then of their butts?”
 
 
 

—na­tal­ie michelle

Flom­mist Na­tal­ie Michelle does­n’t have a bio. She just rants. Copy­right © 2017 Na­tal­ie Michelle. Im­age by mehallo.

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