chunks of flommus
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Amanda Layng Martinez
Amanda Layng MartinezThu 7 May 2020
there’s other news?
It’s real. Look it up. Let’s just let the aliens take over. SCENE: Interview and cleansing of the human race. alien overlord:
Mor 
Amanda Layng MartinezTue 24 Dec 2019
Amanda Layng MartinezSun 18 Nov 2018
Amanda Layng MartinezThu 14 Jun 2018
Amanda Layng MartinezTue 24 Oct 2017
i’m not a flower girl, or am too fond of chocolate
Flowers die and chocolate gives you cavities. And I didn’t think that I would ever have to constantly feel as though I’m
Amanda Layng MartinezFri 18 Aug 2017
Amanda Layng MartinezFri 28 Jul 2017
well now she won’t rust
Went outside and found a black widow. Freaked out and grabbed the closest thing to kill it. I sprayed enamel spray paint and watched
Amanda Layng MartinezSun 26 Mar 2017
but i’m lazy
Wants mac ’n’ cheese. Has no cheese. Sees avocados, garlic, and yeast. Organic whole grain hipster noodles. Time to be vegan.
Amanda Layng MartinezTue 14 Mar 2017
be a good ‘white’ ally
I am so tired of people of European descent and some groups of Caucasian people talking about other minority and ethnic groups
Amanda Layng MartinezFri 3 Feb 2017
tudor tumor
I’ve decided to name my benign liver tumor ‘Henry VIII.’ He’s trying to bankrupt me with medical bills and trying to conquer the
Amanda Layng MartinezFri 23 Dec 2016
‘bet on brown’
Whenever I think of the word ‘package’ in the context of mail or delivery, I think of porn. Now when I see UPS
Amanda Layng MartinezWed 2 Nov 2016
suffering and happiness
Over the past 6 months or so I have been battling with my mental and physical health. I’ve been coping with my
Amanda Layng MartinezSat 30 Jul 2016
selfie issue
One of my pet peeves is when a girl (or others) takes a mirror, bathroom, or angled full body selfie, and their
Amanda Layng MartinezSun 29 May 2016
people suck
‘Perhaps, in retrospect, there would be little motivation even for malevolent extraterrestrials to attack the Earth; perhaps, after a preliminary survey, they might
Amanda Layng MartinezTue 22 Dec 2015
remember kids, it’s just a movie
More spoilers to Star Wars: 1. Chewie gets AIDS. 2. Han Solo has a tribe of offspring from a planet that he sexed