vanity

Dad:
Why did you tear out the dry­wall here?

Me:
Well, I bought a float­ing van­i­ty so I want­ed to in­stall studs so it’s not hang­ing on dry­wall anchors.

Dad:
Oh so you don’t knock it off the wall one night when you come in all stumbly and drunk? 

(does a lit­tle stumbly drunk impersonation)

Me:
No, come on, I’m not like some al­co­holic breaking – 

wait, wait, nope, def­i­nite­ly broke my friend John’s sink van­i­ty once was I was drunk. 

Fine, fair. The studs are so drunk Na­tal­ie doesn’t knock the sink off the wall you jerk.

Dad:
(makes a glug-glug motion)
 
 
 

—na­tal­ie michelle

Flom­mist Na­tal­ie Michelle does­n’t have a bio. She just rants. Copy­right © 2017 Na­tal­ie Michelle.

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