chunks of flommus
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Emily Duchaine
Emily DuchaineTue 29 Sep 2020
hissssssssssssssssss (claws at trump’s quintuple-chin)
“Somebody who thinks Trump is doing a good job, there’s no conversation to have with that person. I know they say you
Mor 
Emily DuchaineSun 20 Sep 2020
everything blows, so here’s a picture of my cat challenging me to a game of cribbage
You learn a lot about yourself in trying times. FOR EXAMPLE, I don’t know exactly when I leapt over the precipice from hopeful/terrified
Emily DuchaineMon 14 Sep 2020
mor annus horribilis
“Picture the intelligence level of the average person, and then realize that half the population is dumber than that.” —George Carlin Yeah,
Emily DuchaineSat 5 Sep 2020
Emily DuchaineThu 6 Aug 2020
Emily DuchaineMon 3 Aug 2020
‘worse than the great depression’
“Business ground to a halt during the pandemic lockdown in the spring of this year, and America plunged into its first recession
Emily DuchaineSun 2 Aug 2020
the impossible
my brain (even though we ain’t goin’ anywhere or doin’ jack shit): “It’s noon. Better get moving if you’re going to get anything
Emily DuchaineTue 21 Jul 2020
Emily DuchaineTue 14 Jul 2020
this moment
“Is there *anyone* left in the administration who shakes their head when they hear [Trump] rambling in the Rose Garden like this?”
Emily DuchaineSat 11 Jul 2020
‘what’s the point of wearing your favorite rocket ship underpants if nobody ever asks to see ’em?’
If someone rides your ass by inches when you’re doing 10 over the speed limit, then punches it and rips past in their big
Emily DuchaineSun 5 Jul 2020
Emily DuchaineWed 1 Jul 2020
not quite 2,000 years
Mel Brooks turned 94 on Sunday and spent it with his lifelong friend, Carl Reiner. Carl died the next day. I’m pretty choked
Emily DuchaineThu 18 Jun 2020
Emily DuchaineWed 20 May 2020
‘i write the songs that make the whole world sing’
On my way home from the pastry shop. Breakfast with the Beatles was on the local classic rock station (100.3) and they played
Emily DuchaineSun 17 May 2020
this conversation just happened:
me: I’m the type of person who lays awake at 3am worrying about that one thing I said seven years ago. friend: I’m
Emily DuchaineMon 11 May 2020
shitty assholes in the garden shop … shitty assholes with ice cream … wat virus?
“From the beginning, there were those who refused to don masks, and many others wore them improperly. Soon San Franciscans abandoned their
Emily DuchaineFri 3 Apr 2020
Emily DuchaineSun 29 Mar 2020
‘it’s saint covid’s day, mum!’
Me after two weeks of quarantine. God, just imagine how fuckin’ boring it had to have been during the prairie
Emily DuchaineSun 22 Mar 2020
Emily DuchaineTue 17 Mar 2020
Emily DuchaineSun 8 Mar 2020
Emily DuchaineSat 7 Mar 2020
elizabeth warren gave us her magic and then disappeared – just like toad the wet sprocket
“When information about their competence was equivocal, 86 percent of participants deemed the male candidate more competent. When there was strong evidence
Emily DuchaineThu 27 Feb 2020
dem candidates
“I probably don’t need to tell you how depressing it is for me to have to watch Warren lose. I’m trying to
Emily DuchaineMon 17 Feb 2020
Emily DuchaineWed 12 Feb 2020
aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh!!!!! parasite!!!!
It’s easy to say, “Who gives a shit about the Oscars?” and I agree with a lot of the sentiment behind that. There’s