*excited kristen wiig ‘sue’ character biting pillow*

“Con­ser­v­a­tive ra­dio host and not­ed evil big­ot Rush Lim­baugh an­nounced on Mon­day that he isn’t long for this world. Lim­baugh told lis­ten­ers that it seems he’s in the fi­nal throes of his stage 4 lung can­cer di­ag­no­sis, say­ing that he’s more or less fac­ing a ‘death sen­tence.’”
—Marie So­lis, Jezebel

 

When you’ve spent your en­tire ex­is­tence mak­ing so many peo­ple mis­er­able and ru­in­ing the world, the most ter­ri­fy­ing thought is that it *might* just get bet­ter with­out you.

When Lim­baugh does die, I’m go­ing to give a con­sid­er­able do­na­tion to the biggest “fem­i­nazi” I can find. Prob­a­bly sev­er­al.

And also a home­less shel­ter. Not in his name though be­cause fuck him. I’ll add a com­ment along the lines of “hap­py Lim­baugh is in the cold, hard ground.”

 

“But Emi­ly you shouldn’t be so neg­a­tive. It only hurts you in the end. Don’t wish ill on oth­ers. Live laugh love. Na­ture is the real an­ti­de­pres­sant. Blah blah blah ar­gle bar­gle booger fart.”

 

No, you don’t know what you’re talk­ing about.

The evil scratch and claw and grip onto the reins of life with every­thing they’ve got.

This man was par­tial­ly re­spon­si­ble for fur­ther poi­son­ing my par­ents and mil­lions of oth­er peo­ple.

He ac­tive­ly worked to set this coun­try as far back as he could.

He ex­ploit­ed and en­cour­aged ig­no­rance and mal­ice. He brought all the mouth-breathers out from un­der their rocks and rot­ting logs.

He dodged the draft be­cause of a cyst on his ass when my dad was sent and ex­posed to agent or­ange and watched en­tire vil­lages per­ish from na­palm.

He sup­ports spousal abuse. He is dis­gust­ing and vile, all the worst of hu­man­i­ty, dis­tilled down and si­phoned into a fes­ter­ing pig car­cass.

Se­ri­ous­ly though folks I can­not think of bet­ter po­et­ic jus­tice than for him to die of lung can­cer.

When Rush Lim­baugh dies, the world will be a bet­ter place.

 

 

—emi­ly duchaine

Flom­mist Emi­ly Duchaine lives in the Pa­cif­ic North­west. She likes to drink mead, learn about sharks, and lis­ten to the Talk­ing Heads. She pre­tends to be a pro­fes­sion­al busi­ness­woman most days. Copy­right © 2020 Emi­ly Duchaine. Ad­di­tion­al re­marks writ­ten by Bri­an and Justin.

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