chunks of flommus
SUBSCRIBE!
PATREON RSS EMAIL
Emily Duchaine
Emily DuchaineWed 10 Nov 2021
‘don’t sell past the close’
I try to be empathetic about this since I was a notorious overexplainer in the past and even though I’ve gotten better,
Mor 
Emily DuchaineWed 27 Oct 2021
must be the season of the witch
“If I were to sit down and get granular with the problematic tropes found in 80s teen movies, my face would frown
Emily DuchaineThu 21 Oct 2021
compliances
my boss: “Hey can you look into *complicated federal thing that reads like stereo instructions* and let me know if we need
Emily DuchaineSun 10 Oct 2021
mön-oh-kur
Ehmmaleigh. —emily duchaine Flommist Emily Duchaine lives in the Pacific Northwest. She likes to drink mead, learn about sharks,
Emily DuchaineThu 30 Sep 2021
trending to-day
THIS just in ALL the while 100% of Republicans support their own constituents killing themselves in the dumbest ways
Emily DuchaineThu 30 Sep 2021
‘poinseeti–ah’
What is it with so many nurses being anti-vax? Can someone help me figure this out? I mean, I know “Cs get degrees”
Emily DuchaineTue 28 Sep 2021
wat if: covid dealings
wat if ted lasso dealt with covid ··· Everyone would be vaccinated except Jamie Tartt. Throughout the episode, Roy would be harassing Jamie
Emily DuchaineTue 14 Sep 2021
‘i’m pretty sure if you die, the cancer dies at the same time. that’s not a loss. that’s a draw.’
“Comedy is surprises, so if you’re intending to make somebody laugh and they don’t laugh, that’s funny.” —Norm Macdonald I couldn’t
Emily DuchaineSat 11 Sep 2021
someone’s knocking at the doh
“Knock knock.” “Who’s there?” “9/11.” “9/11 who?” “YOU SAID YOU WOULD NEVER FORGET.”
Emily DuchaineFri 10 Sep 2021
never forget me not
Actually had this thought this morning: “What if I just don’t go back to reality? What if I make my own reality
Emily DuchaineThu 9 Sep 2021
it’s going to get weird
Some guy just approached me tonight and I’m pretty sure he is my age but he thought I was younger than him. him
Emily DuchaineSat 4 Sep 2021
‘not everything has to be a war with you j. edgar hoover types’
Y’all know I hate people in general but I can put on a good performance with most of them and it’s fine. But
Emily DuchaineSun 29 Aug 2021
a pre-existing theater of the absurd
“Americans now believe that having equal rights in a political system also means that each person’s opinion about anything must be accepted
Emily DuchaineFri 27 Aug 2021
covid island
It went like this: I caught COVID and became really sick, like severe-flu sick. I got tested at a pharmacy and found
Emily DuchaineFri 2 Apr 2021
wat a time to be alive
Conservatives: A 17 year old is a woman. Also conservatives: We must protect our children from Lil Nas X. If you want to
Emily DuchaineWed 31 Mar 2021
ever given gave us its magic and then it disappeared, just like toad the wet sprocket
A big broat got stuck in the Suez Canal and for six days we coalesced in our joy and delight in a
Emily DuchaineSun 28 Mar 2021
to-day’s yard tale
Over the winter I did a lot of research on how to improve the soil in our back yard, which is full
Emily DuchaineWed 24 Mar 2021
hey look america is returning to normal
Ahhhhhh fuuuuuuuuck. Everything about this is so bad. Get ready for Sinema to do her little thumbs down sashay in an outfit that
Emily DuchaineSat 13 Mar 2021
Emily DuchaineSun 7 Mar 2021
then tom brady used the money to buy a yacht
If you’re wracking your brain trying to justify Democrats not giving stimulus checks to people making more than $80,000 a year, here’s
Emily DuchaineThu 4 Mar 2021
‘i will give you a shiny nickel and a signed copy of my hit 2008 cd fearless’
Taylor Swift always has this look on her face like she’s looking around for an orphan to send into a sea cave
Emily DuchaineSun 28 Feb 2021
sunday brunch
It gives me a little tickle to know that all the absolute worst types are having a big mad over a plastic potato toy just about now.
Emily DuchaineMon 22 Feb 2021
mostly, people are just stupid, callous and self-serving
Whenever California is burning down or Washington is flooding or Portland is experiencing a lot of growing pains coming out of its
Emily DuchaineMon 8 Feb 2021
empty, shiny colossals
Always disheartening to see people come up with a never-ending list of reasons why empty state buildings can’t be used as temporary
Emily DuchaineMon 1 Feb 2021
well, watched ‘mank’ and boy that movie is up its own ass
“Pops, this is Herman Mankiewicz, but we have to call him Mank.” Mank (2020) had a fairly interesting story (which possibly is not entirely