‘don’t sell past the close’

I try to be em­pa­thet­ic about this since I was a no­to­ri­ous over­ex­plain­er in the past and even though I’ve got­ten bet­ter, it’s some­thing I’m still work­ing on. 

But – some­times I just want to take my cowork­er by the shoul­ders and tell her, “Gurl, you can stop talk­ing. You don’t have to keep ex­plain­ing your­self. We won the fight. You’re gonna dig us back into a hole. Pump the brakes sister.”

We just had to re­in­force a change we made to one of our oth­er cowork­ers who wasn’t en­tire­ly con­vinced, and we did it, but she kept bar­rel­ing down the hill re­peat­ing what she’d al­ready said in ten more ways. 

I know where this comes from and it’s some­thing that ab­solute­ly af­fects women in the work­place far more than men. Some­one needs to talk to her and tell her, “Be­lieve in what you say and trust that your voice was heard the first time. Once some­one hands you the keys, get in and drive.”

I re­al­ly don’t know that I ever want to be a man­ag­er but it’s stuff like this that makes me think maybe I’d be good at it in­so­far as be­ing able to give feed­back like this from a po­si­tion of au­thor­i­ty. I’m wor­ried that like this will come across as con­de­scend­ing if I try to say it as her peer.

She’s smart and works hard and knows her shit. It’s just ob­vi­ous she feels like she has to keep de­fend­ing her po­si­tion even af­ter every­one has agreed and moved on.

 

—emi­ly duchaine

Flom­mist Emi­ly Duchaine lives in the Pa­cif­ic North­west. She likes to drink mead, learn about sharks, and lis­ten to the Talk­ing Heads. She pre­tends to be a pro­fes­sion­al busi­ness­woman most days. Copy­right © 2021 Emi­ly Duchaine. Hed­line via Heather.

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