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THE BATTLE FOR MODeRN 1923


 chunks of flommus 
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Authors

Natalie Michelle

Flommist Natalie Michelle doesn't have a bio. She just rants.

Natalie Michelle
Mon 4 Apr 2016

mansplaining

Here’s what I don’t need first thing in the morn­ing:  Some bor­ing, poor­ly dressed dude mansplain­ing to me how to use my

Mor 

Natalie Michelle
Sat 2 Apr 2016

girl on a hoverboard

I just drove past a girl in my hood on a hov­er­board just like mock­ing­ly whip­ping around some dude who’s clum­si­ly trying

Mor 

Natalie Michelle
Thu 31 Mar 2016

cannot unsee

Hey re­mem­ber when Kirk Cameron had that bizarre Chris­t­ian show where he’d go around with his weird Aus­tralian friend and make people

Mor 

Natalie Michelle
Fri 25 Mar 2016

about five (alleged) extra-marital affairs

Now that we’ve got a sex scan­dal to FI­NAL­LY liv­en things up this year, I say we all take a minute and

Mor 

Natalie Michelle
Sat 19 Mar 2016

amendment, first

This is the First Amend­ment of the Con­sti­tu­tion of the Unit­ed States: “Con­gress shall make no law re­spect­ing an es­tab­lish­ment of religion,

Mor 

Natalie Michelle
Sat 12 Mar 2016

it’s coming

Brace your­self for the bar­rage of “vi­o­lent civ­il dis­obe­di­ence is hypocrisy” bull­shit from White Mod­er­ates about last night’s protest. Ar­gu­ments in­clude: 1.

Mor 

Natalie Michelle
Fri 11 Mar 2016

positive racism

WARN­ING  this post con­tains pos­i­tive racism. I get the im­pli­ca­tions.   HELL YEAH! The gas sta­tion by my house fi­nal­ly re­opened and

Mor 

Natalie Michelle
Tue 8 Mar 2016

chomsky, dude

My Dude! An en­dorse­ment of Sanders, de­stroy­ing the Re­pub­li­cans, that big­ot Sam Har­ris, and Is­lam­o­pho­bic mo­rons,  AND a big fat smack down

Mor 

Natalie Michelle
Sat 5 Mar 2016

dad said

The three best things my fa­ther said this week: 1. ‘What’s with White peo­ple and White­ness? I mean they’re so ob­sessed with racial

Mor 

Natalie Michelle
Tue 1 Mar 2016

ideal economy

Since no one asked but I’m mus­ing on it to­day, here are my very ba­sic be­liefs on the ide­al econ­o­my: I believe

Mor 

Natalie Michelle
Fri 26 Feb 2016

packaging babes

Can we fuck­ing stop al­ready with plus sized mod­els?  Why can’t all mod­els just be called   mod­els   ? At best, plus size capitalizes

Mor 

Natalie Michelle
Sun 21 Feb 2016

leg shaving, come on

That re­minds me.  As if shav­ing my legs wasn’t in­con­ve­nient enough, I was at Tar­get on Fri­day and there were these two bros

Mor 

Natalie Michelle
Fri 19 Feb 2016

jump!

Al­right, I made a playlist of songs about jump­ing.  Now we just need a tram­po­line for op­ti­mized fun. Flom­mists, let’s ral­ly to­geth­er get

Mor 

Natalie Michelle
Wed 17 Feb 2016

elevator crush

Fi­nal­ly your crush is in the el­e­va­tor with you, the mo­ment you have been wait­ing for – no, prepar­ing for – is here! 

Mor 

Natalie Michelle
Sat 13 Feb 2016

enema

Not speak­ing ill of the dead is about re­spect­ing the feel­ings of their sur­vivors.  As I am not con­nect­ed to An­tonin Scalia’s

Mor 

Natalie Michelle
Wed 10 Feb 2016

worship of greed

That mo­ment when you are lay­ing some se­ri­ous hate down on your job And you re­al­ize the VP prob­a­bly just heard every­thing you

Mor 

Natalie Michelle
Mon 8 Feb 2016

manipulated, twisted bros

Can we take a mo­ment to put the stu­pid ‘Bernie Bro’ thing to rest as it is com­plete­ly made up by the media? 

Mor 

Natalie Michelle
Sun 31 Jan 2016

before boring patriarchy derailed my life

The year was 2002. Dance mu­sic was be­com­ing colour­less be­cause the youth mar­ket­ing de­part­ment had caught on to the rave trend and

Mor 

Natalie Michelle
Tue 26 Jan 2016

bacon on door

I’m shar­ing this (be­low) not be­cause any of my read­ers would ever be in­volved in some­thing so gross­ly dis­re­spect­ful but be­cause I

Mor 

Natalie Michelle
Fri 22 Jan 2016

1. gas 2. coffee

1. Does every sin­gle per­son I in­ter­act with have to be an in­com­pe­tent jag­weed?  Stop brag­ging about how you went to high

Mor 

Natalie Michelle
Fri 15 Jan 2016

endless tortures we inflict

Now it is my turn to be the in­tol­er­a­ble scold: In No­vem­ber, those of us who showed sol­i­dar­i­ty with Paris took a lot

Mor 

Natalie Michelle
Thu 14 Jan 2016

finding balance

Let’s face it Na­tal­ie. You aren’t a yoga per­son. You just aren’t. No mat­ter how many times you do yoga, no matter

Mor 

Natalie Michelle
Thu 7 Jan 2016

frozen ass lemons

  Be­hold the ethe­re­al dance of sleepy flakes drift­ing alight   gen­tly whis­per­ing against an in­can­des­cent glis­ten­ing land­scape     Je­sus you guys, you’d

Mor 

Natalie Michelle
Wed 30 Dec 2015

so sick

Be­ing sick is such dil­dos. What even is the point of get­ting sick? What’s re­al­ly ben­e­fit­ting here? Some fuck­ing low­er life form

Mor 

Natalie Michelle
Mon 21 Dec 2015

chomsky, foucault moment

                            That mo­ment                             when you find                             a pod­cast                             of the famed                             1971 de­bate                             be­tween                             Chom­sky and Fou­cault                             that you’ve only ever read about                             and you

Mor 

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