chunks of flommus
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Emily Duchaine
Emily DuchaineFri 11 May 2018
Mor 
Emily DuchaineFri 16 Mar 2018
‘you kids play nice now, stop trying to take away our guns’
“Walk Up, Not Out: The New Extremely Dumb Thing From the Makers of THIS IS AN ANTI-DEPRESSANT.” —a friend So, people
Emily DuchaineWed 7 Mar 2018
the spaceman mcconaughey movie
1 Aaron, eating a piece of candy from our box of chocolates: Huh, it’s got nougat in it. I don’t even know
Emily DuchaineWed 7 Feb 2018
Emily DuchaineMon 15 Jan 2018
life is cruel this way
No Need to Argue was on heavy rotation in my CD player when I was in the seventh grade. I loved that
Emily DuchaineFri 5 Jan 2018
are strange
I had a dream last night that I found a secret TV channel that was showing S3E1 of Stranger Things. Since dreams
Emily DuchaineSat 23 Dec 2017
i picked a bad day to not take up smoking
Every single bad driver in the world is out in force right now, but my moment of zen was getting behind a woman
Emily DuchaineThu 21 Dec 2017
o that girl
Here’s your morning comedy break – from the Wikipedia page on HBO’s Girls (2012–17): “[Judd] Apatow said he was drawn to [Lena]
Emily DuchaineWed 20 Dec 2017
disney to rian: ‘here’s some money. go make a star war.’
Listen ladies, we’ve been handed a prime opportunity here. While every dude on earth is busy arguing nonstop about Star Wars, we
Emily DuchaineFri 1 Dec 2017
‘lookin’ sharp lookin’ for love’
Clean shirt, new shoes And I don’t know where I am goin’ to Silk suit, black tie, I don’t need a reason why They come runnin’
Emily DuchaineThu 23 Nov 2017
that’s where the helium tanks would be
Time to share this again. me watching the parade Wow, that Turkey is terrifying! Huh? Who are these clowns? ‘Cranberry Cooperative’? Wtf
Emily DuchaineWed 22 Nov 2017
Emily DuchaineSat 18 Nov 2017
mor people
All of these guys. All of them. Way before Blake Shelton. Hahaha, not like I give a fuck what People magazine thinks anyway – this
Emily DuchaineFri 17 Nov 2017
Emily DuchaineThu 16 Nov 2017
the monster in the dark
I have seen every episode of Louie (2010–?). I will probably never watch another episode of Louie ever again. My favorite episode, hands
Emily DuchaineSat 4 Nov 2017
about those nuts
The evolution of eating canned nuts: 1. This needs less peanuts and more other nuts. 2. This still needs a lot less peanuts.
Emily DuchaineWed 1 Nov 2017
Emily DuchaineFri 20 Oct 2017
annihilated
I love Patton Oswalt and I really enjoyed his new special, but I found myself unable to laugh at most of it.
Emily DuchaineWed 11 Oct 2017
japan geography
I went to college in Hawaii. In order to fulfill one of my credit requirements, I took Geography of Japan. The class taught
Emily DuchaineTue 3 Oct 2017
flames, flames on the side of my face
“‘You’ve thrown our budget out of whack,’ he said. ‘We’ve spend a lot of money in Puerto Rico.’” The most uncomfortable part of
Emily DuchaineTue 3 Oct 2017
hard to concentrate at work today
It’s good to be king and have your own world. It helps to make friends, it’s good to meet girls. A sweet little queen
Emily DuchaineSun 1 Oct 2017
we just knew
We knew last year that Trump was like this. He did an abysmal job of pretending to care when he gritted his
Emily DuchaineThu 28 Sep 2017
99 maga balloons
The war is going to start when Trump gets confused and feels threatened because some other idiot let go of 99 MAGA balloons.
Emily DuchaineTue 5 Sep 2017
