“It all started with my Uncle Derek. He was a Sergeant in the Met. He bought me a police pedal car when I was five. I rode around in it every second I was awake – arresting kids twice my size for littering and spitting. I got beaten up a lot when I was young, but it didn’t stop me. I wanted to be like Uncle Derek.”
“He sounds like a good bloke.”
“Actually, he was arrested for selling drugs to students.”
“What a cunt.”
Based on all the reactions I’ve seen to Samantha Bee, I had no idea so many people wanted to protect little ol’ me from being called a cunt. How chivalrous!
It will mean so much not to be called that or even have to suffer exposure to that word ever again after all my reproductive and legal rights have been systematically stripped away one by one. At least I’ll have the comfort of knowing random people argued a lot on the internet about whether or not anyone should ever use that word.
“Whoever you are, I have always depended on the kindness of strangers!”
—emily duchaine
Flommist Emily Duchaine lives in the Pacific Northwest. She likes to drink mead, learn about sharks, and listen to the Talking Heads. She pretends to be a professional businesswoman most days. Copyright © 2018 Emily Duchaine.
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