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THE BATTLE FOR MODeRN 1923


 chunks of flommus 
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Authors

Jason Malmberg

Flommist Jason Malmberg is a simple man who believes in brown liquor and small dogs. He also makes art sometimes.

Jason Malmberg
Sat 24 Dec 2022

a california white christmas!

It’s fog­gy as hell to­day      and that works for me. Je­sus. Bun­dle up Om­a­ha pals.   Peo­ple that mar­ry me:  Get home­made mine­strone and tiny grilled

Mor 

Jason Malmberg
Tue 22 Nov 2022

i endeavor to age with the grace of f. murray abraham

“I mean, it’s a pe­nis. It’s not a sun­set.” —Bert Di Gras­so, from the new sea­son of White Lo­tus   When I first

Mor 

Jason Malmberg
Sun 20 Nov 2022

because they love guns and ‘something something leviticus’

“At least 5 peo­ple are dead and an­oth­er 18 in­jured af­ter a mass shoot­ing in­side the LGBTQ busi­ness Club Q in Colorado

Mor 

Jason Malmberg
Sun 13 Nov 2022

dems retain senate!

“De­moc­rats sealed con­trol of the Sen­ate on Sat­ur­day as Sen­a­tor Cather­ine Cortez Mas­to of Neva­da nar­row­ly de­feat­ed Adam Lax­alt, a Re­pub­li­can former

Mor 

Jason Malmberg
Tue 8 Nov 2022

‘they don’t know any better’

I’m an old (very) white guy that grew up in Ne­bras­ka. If any­one has the right to be a big­ot­ed MAGA idiot

Mor 

Jason Malmberg
Tue 12 Jul 2022

arts and farts and crafts

“I won’t play into the two par­ty cor­po­ratist cha­rade. Vot­ing is a waste of time and I had Wes An­der­son Night at

Mor 

Jason Malmberg
Tue 8 Feb 2022

art is … the talking schlong of tommy lee

“We’re fly­ing elec­tric he­li­copters on Mars yet you can’t turn on your clothes dry­er in Texas. That’s be­cause sci­en­tists are in charge

Mor 

Jason Malmberg
Tue 18 Jan 2022

you deserve a break

  We (or I) like to think of the 70s  as ten years of 80 de­gree sun­ny days,   but there were oth­er seasons

Mor 

Jason Malmberg
Mon 10 Jan 2022

sansglutenousness

  and  just  like  that  on page 64 of Taste: My Life Through Food, I learn that my idol Stan­ley Tuc­ci is

Mor 

Jason Malmberg
Thu 6 Jan 2022

same time last year

  A year ago to­day there was an at­tempt­ed coup in the Unit­ed States. Think about that.  Then think about the peo­ple that

Mor 

Jason Malmberg
Fri 31 Dec 2021

‘that being young is sometimes less fun than being dead’

(To be read in Hap­py Har­ry Hard-on’s voice:)                                Look. Next year’s gonna suck. There’s no rea­son it wouldn’t. And maybe that’s

Mor 

Jason Malmberg
Wed 22 Dec 2021

passionately balls-deep in a douglas fir

  Dude in                       Boyz II Men’s                       cov­er of Let It Snow                       sounds like he’s                       def­i­nite­ly gonna fuck the tree. 

Mor 

Jason Malmberg
Wed 15 Dec 2021

one story

Is the gen­er­al vibe of those cool chairs on rails that go up and down stair­ways that they are only for old

Mor 

Jason Malmberg
Fri 10 Dec 2021

a harvest of biodiesel

Ok, hear me out you guys. The first flap­jacks that, like, Eu­ro­pean ex­plor­ers would make over their camp­fires were made of corn­meal. They

Mor 

Jason Malmberg
Tue 30 Nov 2021

the affair

But then   .  .  .  .  .  .  .    what if? Yes, the cat beamed  . . .     it just might work.                                                    We need not blow the safe’s door on-site.

Mor 

Jason Malmberg
Tue 16 Nov 2021

biden signing the infrastructure bill he got passed

  This is what a pres­i­dent does. C‑SPAN   The last one did lit­tle but de-tax the rich and ob­nox­ious­ly campaign. 

Mor 

Jason Malmberg
Mon 15 Nov 2021

is this a time for airy persiflage?

Lean­ing head­long into au­tumn since I clear­ly have no choice.                                                                             Hol­ly­wood. Make.  This.  Hap­pen.                                      #BeTheChange                                      I’m so torn. 

Mor 

Jason Malmberg
Sun 7 Nov 2021

‘off my chest’

    I feel this.  And yes, this in­cludes all of you ass­holes spread­ing your celebri­ty podcast/Joe Ro­gan horse­shit.  “I’m not an­ti­vaxx. I

Mor 

Jason Malmberg
Sat 6 Nov 2021

spells it ‘communistc’ because of course

Oh my god  this clip is clas­sic: Hol­ly­wood Blvd, Sat­ur­day, 11:22 AM: ANTI-VAXX PRO­TEST­ER: Do you see all of these home­less peo­ple around. Are

Mor 

Jason Malmberg
Thu 4 Nov 2021

of, affecting, or resembling a pig or pigs

Even if you think you’re a los­er in a los­er job,  I as­sure your skillset OBLIT­ER­ATES the skillset of the bright­est Boomers of 1965:

Mor 

Jason Malmberg
Tue 12 Oct 2021

if all goes to plan, tonight i will see the king joe walsh

And the Ea­gles. But Rocky Moun­tain Way yal­l­l­l­ll.   When you were par­ty­ing, I stud­ied the Ea­gles doc­u­men­tary. When you were having

Mor 

Jason Malmberg
Sat 2 Oct 2021

hey joe

There are 80s movies and there are 90s movies.  Wayne’s World is nei­ther.  It’s a Feb­ru­ary 1992 movie and ex­ists in the

Mor 

Jason Malmberg
Fri 24 Sep 2021

well, you see, giraffes have long necks

old/busted Hang­ing out all day at craft fairs to sell your art. new/hotnezz Trick­ing peo­ple into a semi-trail­er, lock­ing them in and taking

Mor 

Jason Malmberg
Tue 21 Sep 2021

‘here’s mah real truth on virology and recalling based on a youtube clip i didn’t completely watch’

“Good­night anti-vaxxers. Good­night anti-choicers. Good­night gun nuts. Good­night cli­mate de­niers. Good­night moon. And good­night CA Rad­i­cal Re­pub­li­cans. Catch us at the midterms.”

Mor 

Jason Malmberg
Thu 1 Apr 2021

sacratomato!

GREAT NEWS EVERY­BODY!  The Toma­to Fes­ti­val is com­ing back af­ter tak­ing last year off due to COVID!     Sor­ry for the bad

Mor 

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