well, you see, giraffes have long necks

old/busted
Hang­ing out all day at craft fairs to sell your art.

new/hotnezz
Trick­ing peo­ple into a semi-trail­er, lock­ing them in and tak­ing their stuff.
 

Plan.

Gonna watch Tal­ent­ed Mr. Rip­ley
and end it at the
part where he’s
in the suit and
then it’s just
a fun movie about
a guy whose dream
is to try on a
suit in Italy.

I’ve lived this dream
by the way, and I
didn’t have to mur­der
Jude Law with an oar
to do it.

Also

I sore­ly want to live in the 1989 NYC of When Har­ry Met Sal­ly for­ev­er and frankly I think I have earned this.

Fight me.
 

The world has com­plete­ly changed.

Like, cock­tails to go be­came a thing.

Teenagers are mil­len­ni­als. Tweens are mil­len­ni­als. Kids, tod­dlers and zy­gotes are mil­len­ni­als.

Ba­bies born 100 years from now? Thats right. Mil­len­ni­als.
 

This guy just sat next to you at the par­ty and wants to talk about All Things Must Pass.

 

There is no bet­ter se­ries right now than r/HermanCainAward.

Binge. Wor­thy.

You would think a True Crime Mur­der Mys­tery would suf­fer from lack­ing the Mys­tery part but it’s still so darn sat­is­fy­ing.

 

So there’s high.

And there’s   “Hey, I should watch D.C. Cab”   high.

 

God darn it I love Lil Nas X.

 

RIP Melvin Van Pee­bles.

Sweet Sweet­back blew my Mid­west hon­key mind as a young teen liv­ing in Ne­bras­ka and opened and in­formed my per­spec­tive in im­mea­sur­able ways.

 

When you or­der your Neil Patrick Har­ris from wish.com.
 

Thank you to all the right wing nut jobs who talked about crit­i­cal race the­o­ry ALL sum­mer.

My stu­dents could not wait for me to ex­plain it to them & talk about struc­tur­al racism.

The top­ic of CRT nev­er came up in class un­til this year.

Gen Z is go­ing to vote you all out @GOP

— Sari Beth Rosen­berg (@saribethrose) Sep­tem­ber 17, 2021

Maybe we all need to per­ma­nent­ly so­cial­ly dis­tance our­selves from Re­pub­li­cans.

I’m just kid­ding. Of course we do.
 

#na­tureisheal­ing

Since we’ve all been at home, mankind’s foot­print has dra­mat­i­cal­ly shrunk.

There were re­ports that at Dis­ney­land, gi­raffes were rid­ing the Mat­ter­horn.

And get­ting knocked the fuck out.

 

—ja­son malm­berg

Flom­mist Ja­son Malm­berg is a sim­ple man who be­lieves in brown liquor and small dogs. He also makes art some­times. Copy­right © 2021 Ja­son Malm­berg.

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