chunks of flommus
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Emily Duchaine

Flommist Emily Duchaine lives in the Pacific Northwest. She likes to drink mead, learn about sharks, and listen to the Talking Heads. She pretends to be a professional businesswoman most days.

Emily Duchaine
Sat 11 Dec 2021

fake plastic trees

goes to bed sober: *barely uses my Waterpik* *all whiny and shit* “Myaaaahhh toooooo tiiiiiiired.” *pets cat and goes to sleep* vs.

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Emily Duchaine
Thu 9 Dec 2021

minted

I’m getting my once-per-year double shot peppermint mocha with half syrup. My rule with this is I never intentionally go get one. I just know when

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Emily Duchaine
Wed 24 Nov 2021

2 biggest holidays of the year, back to back

I completely nixed the salad I had planned from the meal tomorrow. “They’re not gonna like this anyway.” I love that

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Emily Duchaine
Fri 19 Nov 2021

this country is salted earth

“They don’t even just pretend.” —Bowie, I’m Afraid of Americans (1997) “The decision came down to one thing: Were we, members of

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Emily Duchaine
Wed 10 Nov 2021

‘don’t sell past the close’

I try to be empathetic about this since I was a notorious overexplainer in the past and even though I’ve gotten better,

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