the blinding ignorance of the world’s dumbest white life failures

“Coro­n­avirus has al­ready killed more peo­ple than ⁹⁄₁₁ and in­fect­ed more peo­ple than live in the en­tire city of South Bend, In­di­ana. Just a fun fact for every­one scream­ing the me­dia is try­ing to in­cite pan­ic or con­trol us through fear … Get. Your. Heads. Out. Of. Your. Ass­es.”
—Jef Rouner

“‘Oh, it only kills old peo­ple,’ and the News me­dia is fo­cus­ing on the fact that though most of us would re­cov­er, the risk is to El­der fam­i­ly mem­bers and friends … This is a pul­monary in­fec­tion. Pul­monary means ‘lungs.’ The virus could do per­ma­nent lung dam­age – even to those who re­cov­er from the more ob­vi­ous symp­toms. I don’t know about y’all, but I need my lungs to fight.”
—David P. Green­berg

“If the #coro­n­avirus has taught us any­thing it is the lengths peo­ple go to when des­per­ate. Next time you want to judge boat peo­ple, refugees, mi­grants fleet­ing war torn land – re­mem­ber we fought over toi­let pa­per.”
—Find­ing Amer­i­can: Sto­ries of Im­mi­gra­tion

1.
Go to Twit­ter. Right now.

2.
Put “bars are packed” into search.

3.
Watch the world end in real time.

So since col­leges and uni’s are closed un­til fur­ther no­tice y’all think the bars are gonna be packed? I wan­na get lit­ty like a tit­ty on Sat­ur­day night. Al­co­hol fights off the virus right.… we can be­come in­vin­ci­ble

— kourt (@_n0bodyfamous) March 13, 2020

You feel fine.

You can go to the club. Catch it. Still feel fine. Come home. Pass it. Kill some­one.

And you’ll nev­er know.

Those schmucks in your so­cial feeds glad that the virus only kills the old and in­firm are how con­cen­tra­tion camps hap­pen. Se­ri­ous­ly.

Pan­dem­ic can’t even stop the Sac Brew Bike and the woooooo­ing ass­holes that ride it.

I mean, why lis­ten to sci­en­tif­ic ex­perts when you have links to spu­ri­ous blogs post­ed by a chump fired from the po­lice for em­bez­zle­ment?

We’re fucked.

 

Well, here’s some bet­ter things:

Since the theme parks will be closed for while, I will be tweet­ing in­struc­tions for sim­u­lat­ing theme park ex­pe­ri­ences at home and oth­er places.

-thread-

— KRIS MEETS C🌎VID-19 (@krismeetsworld) March 13, 2020

And

But still, right now it per­pet­u­al­ly feels like that mo­ment in a bad dream where you won­der to your­self if you’re dream­ing and you still can’t stop it.

 

—ja­son malm­berg

Flom­mist Ja­son Malm­berg is a sim­ple man who be­lieves in brown liquor and small dogs. He also makes art some­times. Copy­right © 2020 Ja­son Malm­berg. Pic­tured up top: George Grosz, Peo­ple in the Street (cropped) from his Berlin port­fo­lio (1915/17), shown for very his­tor­i­cal sig­nif­i­cance.

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