a tournament of lies

Folks: the RNC isn’t us­ing Black speak­ers to en­gage Black vot­ers. They’re us­ing Black speak­ers to en­gage white peo­ple who want to vote Trump and not feel racist.

— Matt Mc­Der­mott (@mattmfm) Au­gust 25, 2020

Per­haps a coun­try in which over 170,000 peo­ple have died from a con­tain­able dis­ease, 30 mil­lion are out of work, and Amer­i­can pass­ports don’t gain ad­mit­tance to most of the world? Oh, wait. https://t.co/FmWaxdm0QM

— Hillary Clin­ton (@HillaryClinton) Au­gust 25, 2020

“As a mem­ber of the mil­i­tary, I can’t re­al­ly get po­lit­i­cal. I mean, un­less it’s in sup­port of Re­pub­li­cans and/or against De­moc­rats.”

“A black guy shot a white kid there­fore cops should be able to do what­ev­er they want to black peo­ple.”

“TRUMP IS THE ONLY DE­FEND­ER OF WEST­ERN CIV­I­LIZA­TION. EVA LON­GO­RIA WILL ABORT YOU!”

 

This week the RNC is on some un­hinged griev­ance shit.

To hear these dil­dos you’d think we were run­ning a re­an­i­mat­ed Stal­in.

“Marx­ist” “Com­mu­nist” “Far Left”

LOL all of this is di­rect­ly tar­get­ed to your dumb­est old­er rel­a­tives and peo­ple you went to high school with.

Plus, fat old dads in shit­ty re­gion­al metal/punk bands that were just dy­ing to drop the mask and go full-blown David Duke.

AND if you’re on­line de­bat­ing one of these shits – some­one with a dis­tinct name and city – al­ways Google that plus “ar­rest.” Nine times of ten (ten if they at­tend­ed the School of Hard Knocks) they owe child sup­port and have a ton of DUIs.

This is also how I dis­cov­ered a lo­cal su­per gung ho cop apol­o­gist gun-nut re­signed the force in dis­grace af­ter he was caught em­bez­zling.

 

Warn­ing: 74 days out and the Dems are too con­fi­dent which will lead to com­pla­cen­cy. I live in Trump coun­try — you can feel it build­ing, they hate you and they are go­ing to vote. Bet­ter start act­ing like Biden is 3 points down in all swing states.

— Gregg Smith 🇺🇸 (@10milesbadroad) Au­gust 22, 2020

 

“I’m vot­ing third par­ty. The DNC doesn’t care about real peo­ple.
Also check out pix of me par­ty­ing mask­less with 40 oth­er id­iots!”

 

If we lose in No­vem­ber the *en­tire* Supreme Court gets flipped to right wingers. For the rest of your milen­ni­al-ass life.

This means (in a nec­es­sar­i­ly in­sane ex­am­ple) your pre­cious Green Par­ty could sweep the pres­i­den­cy, House and Sen­ate in 2024 and STILL not get any­thing done that couldn’t be un­done by the courts.

So shut the fuck up and get on board.

 

 

Let me get this straight. A Black man is shot in the back 7 times, while get­ting in car with his kids. A White youth car­ry­ing an AR-15 walks away, af­ter killing peo­ple. Same po­lice force, same town, same week. And what is Trump’s re­sponse? Send in troops to crush the pro­test­ers.

— Robert Re­ich (@RBReich) Au­gust 26, 2020

 

“The vi­o­lence you’re see­ing in Don­ald Trump’s Amer­i­ca. Is Don­ald Trump even aware he’s pres­i­dent? These are not im­ages from some imag­ined ‘Joe Biden’s Amer­i­ca’ in the fu­ture. These are im­ages from Don­ald Trump’s Amer­i­ca to­day. The vi­o­lence we’re wit­ness­ing is hap­pen­ing un­der Don­ald Trump. Not me. It’s get­ting worse, and we know why.”
—Joe Biden

 

 

i’m of­fi­cial­ly push­ing for eman­ci­pa­tion. buck­le up be­cause this is prob­a­bly go­ing to be pub­lic one way or an­oth­er, un­for­tu­nate­ly. wel­come to my life

— CLAU­DIA CON­WAY (@claudiamconwayy) Au­gust 23, 2020

“Kellyanne Conway’s daugh­ter forc­ing her to quit her job work­ing for Trump is proof that every kid can force their par­ents to vote cor­rect­ly. If this kid can break that bond, you have an oblig­a­tion to FUCK YOUR PAR­ENTS UP. If they’re vot­ing Trump, they are lit­er­al­ly KILLING you and your fu­ture. Make them SUF­FER.”
—Tim­o­thy Paul Doyle

So­cial. Pres­sure. Works.

“Get ready, though. Not only will the Red Hats scream bloody mur­der – and they’ll scream loud­ly – there will also be a move­ment among De­moc­rats to sim­ply move on. To cut bait. The Van Jone­ses of the ca­ble news land­scape – those who’ve at­tempt­ed to mis­use the cov­et­ed la­bel ‘pres­i­den­tial’ to de­scribe the ex­act op­po­site – will ex­ploit their plat­forms to pro­mote let­ting the na­tion ‘heal’ by leav­ing the past in the past.”
—Bob Cesca, Don’t cry for Kellyanne Con­way, SA­LON

 

This is just a nor­mal thing for a face to look like.

 

Trump:  “The pi­o­neers didn’t have mon­ey. Didn’t have fame …”

Me:  “Didn’t have no cred­it card to ride this train?”

 

 

Dude seems pret­ty low en­er­gy for what the mo­ment is.

He man­aged to get a “four more years” chant go­ing but it sound­ed like 10 peo­ple out of the 2,000 present.

I’m only lis­ten­ing and not watch­ing but he sounds ready to nod the fuck out.

Did Ju­nior Hoover up all the llel­lo?

 

“He is not dep­u­tized. We, the pub­lic, have not as­sent­ed to this through any de­mo­c­ra­t­ic or le­gal mech­a­nism. It is law­less. This is Stand Your Ground on steroids, or maybe PCP. It might not be your ground, and you might have to trav­el across state lines to stand there, but as long as you’re the Right Kind of guy with a gun, some peo­ple will make ex­cus­es for you.”
—Jack Holmes, Es­quire

 

 

Will the pop­u­lar mid­town yoga stu­dio soon be of­fer­ing QAnon class­es?

Also,

shoutout to all the ladies whose po­lit­i­cal opin­ions are out­ing the dudes that only friend­ed them for their looks.

Hol­la!

And if Bel­la Thorne can make $2M in a week from her On­ly­Fans, I should be able to make $80 easy.

I wan­na buy a Crock-Pot.

 

—ja­son malm­berg

Flom­mist Ja­son Malm­berg is a sim­ple man who be­lieves in brown liquor and small dogs. He also makes art some­times. Copy­right © 2020 Ja­son Malm­berg. Je­sus meme source.

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