save the trees, chipotle!

So we have this kind of hi­lar­i­ous mys­tery in my neigh­bor­hood right now. 

For the last three week­ends, some­one has snuck into my next door neighbor’s yard and cut down a tree in the mid­dle of the night. 

No one knows who is do­ing it,
but they are do­ing it by handsaw,
and then leav­ing be­hind a neat stack of fire­wood and all the small branch­es, leaves, and saw­dust is cleared away. 

She’s talked to every­one in our vicin­i­ty and no one has seen or heard anything. 

Strange right?

WAIT
be­cause it gets so much weirder – 

she just came over to tell me that some­one sta­pled a bunch of Chipo­tle gift cards to two re­main­ing trees. 

Gift cards that still have balances. 

Not only that, but some­one set up two chairs and a tea set on the stump of the lat­est tree victim. 

WHAT THE HELL.
 
 

—na­tal­ie michelle

Flom­mist Na­tal­ie Michelle does­n’t have a bio. She just rants. Copy­right © 2016 Na­tal­ie Michelle. Pic­tured: The scene, tho ‘she cleared up the space but you can see the two chairs and the wood.’

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