yester-day, to-day and … to-morrow!!

I keep think­ing about this old guy I used to see at Den­ny’s, who would some­times sit down with us.

Al­ways on a rant about how morals to­day are the ex­act same as they were in the 1950s, just re­named and dis­guised to look dif­fer­ent … He also said the ’50s were bull­shit and bor­ing.

When I was younger, I thought be­ing mid­dle aged was the worst thing to be. But then I see like 40 and 50 year olds just get­ting it, be­ing who they want to be and not giv­ing a fuck about be­ing cool, which is ac­tu­al­ly very cool. And I hope I can be like them when I grow up.

“Con­ser­v­a­tive: You’re just a BOT. An AN­TIFA SU­PER SOL­DIER. All you want is to make a GAY ORGY COLONY IN SPACE
Pro­gres­sives: Nooooo stop call­ing me names that are cool as shit
Con­ser­v­a­tive: You are SHARK that likes CIG­A­RETTES
Mean­while when con­ser­v­a­tives get to name their own group they go with shit like THE PROUD BOYS and TEA PAR­TY and DRY PE­NIS ARMY”
—Dan Shee­han

 

To-day, it costs less to house the home­less and give the im­pov­er­ished a UBI than it does to now that the Cap­i­tal­ists have stopped read­ing …

Lis­ten: There are 30,000+ par­ti­cle ac­cel­er­a­tors on Earth right now. What if we were to just fire them all up and get the fuck off this time­line?

And what if, in the fu­ture, we dis­cov­ered how to erase bad events from his­to­ry by send­ing them to an­oth­er time –

but we just col­lec­tive­ly chose 2020 as the tem­po­ral land­fill?

At the very least, to-day, has any­one tried singing The Na­tion­al An­them to get the cops off of a per­son, or would that alone cre­ate a para­dox?

 

“At the time I awoke, the ‘Day of Hope’ was al­most at hand. I shall not at­tempt to set forth a de­tailed his­to­ry of the Sec­ond War of In­de­pen­dence, for that has been record­ed al­ready by bet­ter his­to­ri­ans than I am … Amer­i­ca, in­dus­tri­al­ly geared to world pro­duc­tion and the world trade, col­lapsed eco­nom­i­cal­ly, and there en­sued a long pe­ri­od of stag­na­tion and des­per­ate at­tempts at eco­nom­ic re­con­struc­tion … We had ul­tro­phoned our ar­rival and the Big Boss him­self, sur­round­ed by the Coun­cil, was on hand to wel­come us and learn our news. In turn we were in­formed that dur­ing the night a band of raid­ing Bad Bloods, dis­guised un­der the in­signia of the Al­toonas, a gang some dis­tance to the west of us, had de­stroyed sev­er­al of our camps be­fore our peo­ple had ral­lied and dri­ven them off. Their pur­pose, ev­i­dent­ly, had been to em­broil us with the Al­toonas, but for­tu­nate­ly, one of our ex­changes rec­og­nized the Bad Blood leader, who had been slain.”
—Philip Fran­cis Nowl­an, Amaz­ing Sto­ries, 1928

 

Then, I woke up in a hos­pi­tal in the year 2065, af­ter hav­ing been frozen at my cur­rent age.

All of my records had been lost, and the young nurs­es looked at me like I was from out­er space when I sug­gest­ed phys­i­cal­ly **writ­ing down** what I could tell them from mem­o­ry.

They fig­ured out what I was ask­ing, but still did not un­der­stand my ex­pla­na­tion of ink and pa­per be­ing used for prac­ti­cal things and not just fan­cy art projects.

They also seemed amazed when I said how old I was, de­spite it still be­ing a to­tal­ly plau­si­ble old-per­son age.

There were some fly­ing cars, but also an equal amount of not-fly­ing cars.

There were still news­pa­per box­es on cor­ners, only in­stead of hold­ing phys­i­cal news­pa­pers, they were most­ly or­na­men­tal, and you could scan them with your de­vice to down­load all the news ar­ti­cles for that day/week, with a front page-look­ing graph­ic across a screen in the win­dow.

And it turns out none of this does prop­er jus­tice to the aes­thet­ic 1930s retro-fu­ture I imag­ined when I read Brave New World.

We were still doomed, but can we at least be doomed with pin curls, wired phones, he­li­copter taxis and freely avail­able ben­zos?

My In­sta­gram feed still had that no­tice pinned at the top, to let me know that one pic­ture I al­ready post­ed decades ago, still can’t be post­ed.

So tech­nol­o­gy was es­sen­tial­ly the same, save for dif­fer­ent things be­ing trendy and every­thing be­ing con­stant­ly sur­veilled …

but this was to-mor­row,   THE FU­TURE!

 

Well, shit.

Turns out I’d long sur­passed the age in which be­ing a men­tal­ly ill hip­ster is still cute.

They’re call­ing me a man­ic pix­ie WOMAN now. 💼 💅

 

—bwargh von mod­nar

Flom­mist Bwargh von Mod­nar is. Copy­right © 2012, 2020 Bwargh von Mod­nar. Read mor about the Philip Fran­cis Nowl­an quote here and the most re­cent news.

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