i hope you know this will go down on your permanent record

I still haven’t read a sin­gle thing yet about the Putin meet­ing.

But based on every­one else’s re­ac­tions,

I should prob­a­bly think about whether or not I want to lash out ir­ra­tional­ly and fly into an un­con­trol­lable rage be­fore I do.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
You’d think that, at al­most 36 years, old I’d have stopped stub­bing my toes on every­thing.

You’d think that, but you’d be wrong.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
If hell ex­ists, my eter­nal damna­tion will be lis­ten­ing to Jim­my Fal­lon cov­er pop songs on toy in­stru­ments.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
An iPhone, but like, not a phone, so peo­ple can’t call you. Ever.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
I don’t want to smell your sick­en­ing­ly sweet maple syrup what­ev­er the fuck fla­vor it is vape any­more than I do cig­a­rette smoke, ass­hole.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
I swear to god, Biz Markie’s Just a Friend fol­lows me wher­ev­er the hell I go.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Free­dom, equal­i­ty, Mbap­pé.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

“It de­pends on what the mean­ing of the word ‘is’ is.”
—Bill Clin­ton, 1998
 

“I ap­pre­ci­ate the fact that you re­al­ly snatched de­feat out of the jaws of those who are try­ing to de­feat us.”
—George W. Bush, 2008
 

“I said the word ‘would’ in­stead of ‘wouldn’t.’ The sen­tence should have been, ‘I don’t see any rea­son why it WOULDN’T be Rus­sia.’”
—Don­ald Trump, 2018
 

Haha, good job, Amer­i­ca.
 

 
 
Here’s a bonus one for fun:

“Facts are stu­pid things.”
—Ronald Rea­gan, 1988 (at­tempt­ing to quote John Adams, who said, ‘Facts are stub­born things’)
 
 

Mean­while,

also hap­pen­ing
on the very same day
that were was an also hap­pen­ing:

On the same day as a crim­i­nal com­plaint was un­sealed against a Russ­ian cit­i­zen ac­cused of us­ing the NRA as a con­duit to in­flu­ence U.S. po­lit­i­cal lead­ers on be­half of Rus­sia, the Trump ad­min an­nounced new rules that would al­low the NRA to stop dis­clos­ing its donors. pic.twitter.com/vNJoDCZkCH

— Mad­dow Blog (@MaddowBlog) July 18, 2018

 

—emi­ly duchaine

Flom­mist Emi­ly Duchaine lives in the Pa­cif­ic North­west. She likes to drink mead, learn about sharks, and lis­ten to the Talk­ing Heads. She pre­tends to be a pro­fes­sion­al busi­ness­woman most days. Copy­right © 2018 Emi­ly Duchaine. “I’ll be long gone be­fore some smart per­son ever fig­ures out what hap­pened in­side this Oval Of­fice.” —Dubya.

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