Yesterday we went to a wine tasting and a very old man who I usually like was being a loudmouthed jackass.
Don’t know if he had too much to drink or what but he was really insufferable.
First he announced that he voted “yes” on the two terrible anti-trans initiatives when someone with a No Hate in WA State sign came in and asked to put it in the window and said “anyone with any intelligence will also vote yes on both.”
Then I overheard him say “girls can’t be Ghostbusters” and I deadass said “fuck you,” then told him when he dies and he’s a ghost I’m gonna bust his ass so hard he’ll see how girls “can’t be Ghostbusters.”
He got a disgruntled look on his face and finally shut up.
And yes, I absolutely said all of this to him and loud enough so to the whole wine bar could hear. His wife was laughing so hard I thought she was going to fall off her chair.
Not on my Halloween, fucker.
Needless to say, I don’t like him anymore.
—emily duchaine
Flommist Emily Duchaine lives in the Pacific Northwest. She likes to drink mead, learn about sharks, and listen to the Talking Heads. She pretends to be a professional businesswoman most days. Copyright © 2026 Emily Duchaine.
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