then tom brady used the money to buy a yacht

If
you’re wrack­ing your brain try­ing to jus­ti­fy De­moc­rats not giv­ing stim­u­lus checks to peo­ple mak­ing more than $80,000 a year, here’s your re­minder that
Kanye West,
Jeff Koons,
the Church of Scientology,
Soho House,
the Ayn Rand Institute,
Nan­cy Pelosi’s husband,
Elaine Chao’s fam­i­ly (Mitch McConnell’s wife) and
the afore-men­tioned Tom Brady
all got PPP loans last year in the six-to-eight fig­ure range.

If you don’t know who some of those peo­ple are, look them up.

And,
cor­rect me if I’m wrong, but – they had to ac­tive­ly ap­ply for these loans.

If so,
these fuck­ers asked for mon­ey they didn’t need.

Like,
this also means Tom Brady de­serves his yacht to sink with him on it and years lat­er they find six Su­per Bowl rings on a skele­ton hand at the bot­tom of a cay.

 

 

… Okay, two skele­ton hands.

 

 

Nev­er mind.

I’ve de­cid­ed Tom Brady is the six fin­gered man.

 

One skele­ton hand.

 

 

Also,
Kyrsten Sine­ma re­al­ly needs to do her lit­tle thumbs-down sashay right into on­com­ing traffic.

 

—emi­ly duchaine

Flom­mist Emi­ly Duchaine lives in the Pa­cif­ic North­west. She likes to drink mead, learn about sharks, and lis­ten to the Talk­ing Heads. She pre­tends to be a pro­fes­sion­al busi­ness­woman most days. Copy­right © 2021 Emi­ly Duchaine.

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