If
you’re wracking your brain trying to justify Democrats not giving stimulus checks to people making more than $80,000 a year, here’s your reminder that
Kanye West,
Jeff Koons,
the Church of Scientology,
Soho House,
the Ayn Rand Institute,
Nancy Pelosi’s husband,
Elaine Chao’s family (Mitch McConnell’s wife) and
the afore-mentioned Tom Brady
all got PPP loans last year in the six-to-eight figure range.
If you don’t know who some of those people are, look them up.
And,
correct me if I’m wrong, but – they had to actively apply for these loans.
If so,
these fuckers asked for money they didn’t need.
Like,
this also means Tom Brady deserves his yacht to sink with him on it and years later they find six Super Bowl rings on a skeleton hand at the bottom of a cay.
… Okay, two skeleton hands.
Never mind.
I’ve decided Tom Brady is the six fingered man.
One skeleton hand.
Also,
Kyrsten Sinema really needs to do her little thumbs-down sashay right into oncoming traffic.
—emily duchaine
Flommist Emily Duchaine lives in the Pacific Northwest. She likes to drink mead, learn about sharks, and listen to the Talking Heads. She pretends to be a professional businesswoman most days. Copyright © 2021 Emily Duchaine.
PLEASE SUPPORT FLOMM
TIPS + DONATIONS DISCREETLY ACCEPTED