#tbt to our passionate love

It breaks my heart to an­nounce my long time Valentine’s boo
💞Card­board Cutout Robert Pat­tin­son As Ed­ward The Vam­pire Whose Last Name I Don’t Know From The Movie Twi­light That I Only Watched Last Year And Was So Very Bad I Turned It Off But Also Team Ja­cob All The Way 💞
and I have de­cid­ed to con­scious­ly un­cou­ple af­ter near­ly twelve years (Je­sus fuck­ing christ, my longest re­la­tion­ship is with this thing).

The de­ci­sion was made af­ter he broke in half when I was drunk­en­ly drag­ging him around a friend’s wed­ding and I can’t be in a re­la­tion­ship with some­one who’s only half in (nailed THAT joke).

 

#tbt my wed­ding escort ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

 

#tbt to our first date ❤

 

#tbt when he met me in bed with chocolates

 

Hap­py Valentine’s Day, I guess I’ll see all of you at Galentine’s afterall.

 

He will al­ways hold a spe­cial place in my heart and I will re­mem­ber him fond­ly when­ev­er I see a blood bank.

 

—na­tal­ie michelle

Flom­mist Na­tal­ie Michelle does­n’t have a bio. She just rants. Copy­right © 2020 Na­tal­ie Michelle.

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