It breaks my heart to announce my long time Valentine’s boo
💞Cardboard Cutout Robert Pattinson As Edward The Vampire Whose Last Name I Don’t Know From The Movie Twilight That I Only Watched Last Year And Was So Very Bad I Turned It Off But Also Team Jacob All The Way 💞
and I have decided to consciously uncouple after nearly twelve years (Jesus fucking christ, my longest relationship is with this thing).
The decision was made after he broke in half when I was drunkenly dragging him around a friend’s wedding and I can’t be in a relationship with someone who’s only half in (nailed THAT joke).
#tbt my wedding escort ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤
#tbt to our first date ❤
#tbt when he met me in bed with chocolates
Happy Valentine’s Day, I guess I’ll see all of you at Galentine’s afterall.
He will always hold a special place in my heart and I will remember him fondly whenever I see a blood bank.
—natalie michelle
Flommist Natalie Michelle doesn’t have a bio. She just rants. Copyright © 2020 Natalie Michelle.
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