real talk!

I may be America’s Sweet­heart (TV Guide, Fall Spot­light 12 Sep­tem­ber ’87) but I am PRE­CISE­LY the kind of bozo that would take COVID steroids and be like

“I AM REBOOOOOOORN!”

But   .  .  .

What’s with these homies diss­ing m-cough hack hu­u­ugh­h­hh­pph coug­gh­ppghgh hackch­hchchkkk huagh­hgh­hh cough cough hack huff huff huff

hack
hu­u­ugh­h­hh­pph coug­gh­ppghgh hackch­hchchkkk huagh­hgh­hh cough cough hack huff huff hack hu­u­ugh­h­hh­pph coug­gh­ppghgh huff huff huff hack hu­u­ugh­h­hh­pph coug­gh­ppghgh hackch­hchchkkk huagh­hgh­hh cough cough hack coug­gh­ppghgh hackch­hchchkkk huagh­hgh­hh cough cough hack huff huff huff hack hu­u­ugh­h­hh­pph coug­gh­ppghgh hackch­hchchkkk huagh­hgh­hh cough cough hack huff huff hack hu­u­ugh­h­hh­pph coug­gh­ppghgh huff huff huff hack hu­u­ugh­h­hh­pph coug­gh­ppghgh hackch­hchchkkk huagh­hgh­hh cough cough hack huff huff huff hack hu­u­ugh­h­hh­pph coug­gh­ppghgh hack huff huff hackch­hchchkkk huaghhghhh
cough cough hack
huff huff huff

 

 

“I talked to the HIP­PO and the HIP­PO said Pres­i­dent Su­per­man has NOmo­nia and then the HIP­PO smiled at me.”
—Dr. Con­ley

 

Just like with wars and ge­og­ra­phy, this is gonna be how a whole lot of Amer­i­cans learn what ‘hubris’ means.

Yes I re­al­ize that hubris isn’t a ter­ri­bly ad­vanced word but we’re talk­ing about Amer­i­cans here.

 

—ja­son malmberg

Flom­mist Ja­son Malm­berg is a sim­ple man who be­lieves in brown liquor and small dogs. He also makes art some­times. Copy­right © 2020 Ja­son Malmberg.

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