it’s not a spoiler to say kylo titties is it?

Speak­ing of Kylo, re­mem­ber when Go­ril­laz re­leased that song Sty­lo and every­one pre­tend­ed it wasn’t dire as fuck?

I mean, the mu­sic press hailed the new era of in­ter­na­tion­al pop while lit­er­al­ly any­one that lis­tened to mu­sic in the late 90s was like, “uh what?”

Okay. Spoil­ers.

Star Wars: The Last Jedi (2017) is the only movie that’s ever made me feel bad about kin­da want­i­ng a ro­tis­serie chick­en.

It did, how­ev­er, reaf­firm that I am to­tal­ly fine with my lac­tose in­tol­er­ance.

And god dammit. Ryan John­son, you stu­pid brick di­rec­tor.

The Last Jedi is ab­solute­ly a grow­er.

It’s a new kind of Star Wars movie. One that is able to let go of what Star Wars was but is able to ex­pand on it imag­i­na­tive­ly like the best EU nov­els did. It’s so jam packed full of in­cred­i­ble things and twists and turns and sur­pris­es.

The Last Jedi got an A from Cin­e­maS­core.

That’s where they do real exit polls from real view­ers re­al­ly leav­ing the the­ater.

Con­trast that with IMDB or Rot­ten­Tomatos’ crowd scores which are heav­i­ly sus­cep­ti­ble to neck­beard brigad­ing by whiny fan­boys who of­ten­times haven’t ac­tu­al­ly seen the film yet.

Am­ber men­tioned that one last night and that’s why it’s a bull­shit score.

       Am­ber:
       Shrug. I’ll give it an­oth­er shot but my ‘Fall Asleep with­in the First 20 min­utes’
       is a tried & true mea­sure of a movie’s qual­i­ty.

You fall asleep all the time. And you were asleep less than 10 min­utes in.

       Am­ber:
       That’s even worse. Ha­ha­hah.

Some felt TFA (2015) was a bit too safe­ly on rails and felt small in scope and while I didn’t nec­es­sar­i­ly feel the same, TLJ is ab­solute­ly the op­po­site of both in every way. It’s sprawl­ing and un­ex­pect­ed and adds a hu­mor that was only re­al­ly there in small dos­es be­fore. You feel the des­per­a­tion of the Re­sis­tance (es­pe­cial­ly these days) and the way in­ten­tions don’t al­ways arc into ac­tion the way you hoped they would.

Re­mem­ber that cool scene where Luke con­front­ed Vad­er in the cave on Dagob­ah and the mask ex­plodes to re­veal his own face? That clas­sic scene?

Yeah, peo­ple groaned about that.

I was there. Cin­e­ma Cen­ter. May 1980.

So this isn’t new, the dis­ap­point­ment that the movie didn’t do the bor­ing thing y’all were hop­ing it would.

Yes, ‘The Last Jedi doesn’t care what you think about Star Wars.’

Damn right.

It’s pret­ty won­der­ful and un­fa­mil­iar at times in that way sor­ta makes you feel off bal­ance, which is what the best new things do.

First view­ing was re­al­ly good.
Sec­ond was le­git great.
Third was out­right phe­nom­e­nal.
It’s such a dense movie with so many themes and facets that you re­al­ly don’t see it all set to­geth­er un­til you’ve watched it a cou­ple times.
John­son has com­plete­ly rein­vig­o­rat­ed the saga.

Hope
Em­pire
Last Jedi
Force Awak­ens
Rogue
Jedi
Sith
Phan­tom
Clones
 
 

—ja­son malm­berg

Flom­mist Ja­son Malm­berg is a sim­ple man who be­lieves in brown liquor and small dogs. He also makes art some­times. Copy­right © 2017 Ja­son Malm­berg.

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