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THE BATTLE FOR MODeRN 1923


  chunks of flommus 

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hey the jerk store called, they ran out of you’

I just left the FedEx Store.

While I was in there, a hor­ri­ble man came in with­out a mask on and want­ed to drop off a pack­age that al­ready had a re­turn label. 

The woman be­hind the counter asked him very nice­ly to please wear a mask and tried to hand him one of the dis­pos­able masks they had available.

He first asked why he had to wear a mask. 

Then he said he didn’t have COVID

He kept rais­ing his voice. Then he start­ed yelling about how he gets test­ed for COVID “every fuckin’ day” and “it’s al­ways neg­a­tive.”

Af­ter re­fus­ing sev­er­al times to wear a mask, the woman told him he need­ed to leave and she wasn’t go­ing to serve him. He didn’t move and said he just want­ed “a fuck­ing re­ceipt” so she said he could leave the pack­age and leave the store and she’d have it brought to him outside.

I was watch­ing this from the pho­to and print cen­ter won­der­ing if
1)  I’d have to call someone
2)  Should I be afraid of get­ting shot? (only in America!)
3)  If I’d end up need­ing to run in back and hide. 

He fi­nal­ly start­ed to walk out (with his pack­age) and start­ed an­tag­o­niz­ing her, “Ooooh, COVID, I’m so scared!” The woman yelled back, “I’m not scared of COVID I just don’t give a shit what you think now get out!!!”

She was wear­ing a baby Yoda mask and I could tell just by see­ing her eyes that she was in the red as far as fucks to give. 

He tus­sled with the wrong badass bitch.

Af­ter he left, I shook my head and apol­o­gized that she had to deal with that in­di­vid­ual. She said, “I’m re­al­ly sor­ry if I of­fend­ed you with my lan­guage.” I as­sured her that I was not of­fend­ed by her in the least, and it was the way he treat­ed her and be­haved that was of­fen­sive to me.

No­body de­serves to be treat­ed like that, es­pe­cial­ly this time of year.
 

 

—emi­ly duchaine

Flom­mist Emi­ly Duchaine lives in the Pa­cif­ic North­west. She likes to drink mead, learn about sharks, and lis­ten to the Talk­ing Heads. She pre­tends to be a pro­fes­sion­al busi­ness­woman most days. Copy­right © 2021 Emi­ly Duchaine.

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Der Tung
Posted
Tue 21 Dec 2021

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