‘darkness was cheap, and scrooge liked it’

my ghosts:

christ­mas past:  Cather­ine O’Hara
 
christ­mas present:  Pat­ton Os­walt
 
christ­mas fu­ture:  Megan Rapi­noe
                              

their mes­sages:

past:  You had some good times but things were more fucked up than you re­al­ized. Be gen­tle with your­self now.
 
present:  It’s a pain in the ass to slog through this every year, but at least you have your hus­band and a warm, safe home and food to eat.
 
fu­ture:  Hey I’m not here to scare you, you’re hon­est­ly do­ing pret­ty great, all things con­sid­ered. I’m your fu­ture ghost just be­cause I know how bad­ly you’ve been want­i­ng to meet me. Also, keep be­ing your­self, stand­ing your ground, and try not to let dumb shit bug you.
 

Also,
in the morn­ing when I see them wav­ing good­bye, Keanu Reeves is with them for some rea­son even though he’s not dead.

Al­though, nei­ther are any of these oth­er peo­ple.

The per­son who tells me I’ll be vis­it­ed by three ghosts is ob­vi­ous­ly Au­drey Hep­burn as a bonus ghost.

 

rapi­noe:  Oh I do have one piece of bad news, though. You’re gonna out­live, like, every­one. Think su­per­centar­i­an.
 
me:  Fuck.
 

 

—emi­ly duchaine

Flom­mist Emi­ly Duchaine lives in the Pa­cif­ic North­west. She likes to drink mead, learn about sharks, and lis­ten to the Talk­ing Heads. She pre­tends to be a pro­fes­sion­al busi­ness­woman most days. Copy­right © 2021 Emi­ly Duchaine.

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