here’s what I genuinely believe sometimes

“Your mama’s fa­ther – af­ter ex­pe­ri­enc­ing both World Wars in Ger­many – used to say, ‘Don’t be­lieve the crap peo­ple tell you. This is hell and we all go to a bet­ter place if we’ve learned our lesson.’”
—Sharon
 

At some point I died (prob­a­bly that time a Jug­ga­lo of all peo­ple saved my ac­tu­al life be­cause that fits here) and I am now in a per­son­al­ly-tai­lored Hell where ba­si­cal­ly every­one is wild­ly in­com­pe­tent when it comes to com­plet­ing sim­ple tasks. 

These mind-numb­ing mini-tor­tures are de­signed in such a way where if I get up­set about them, *I’m* the ass­hole for let­ting small things trig­ger me to frus­tra­tion and anger. 

So I have to just keep smil­ing and say­ing “its okay” and fix­ing things that shouldn’t have been a prob­lem in the first place and over­time they’ve col­lec­tive­ly ac­cu­mu­lat­ed into a re­al­ly soul-crush­ing nar­ra­tive about the in­tel­lec­tu­al ca­pac­i­ty of my fel­low man and I’m at point where I am just emo­tion­al­ly col­laps­ing on my­self in­ter­nal­ly and it is re­al­ly an ef­fec­tive kind of torture. 

Well played ac­tu­al Sa­tan, well played.
 
 

—na­tal­ie michelle

Flom­mist Na­tal­ie Michelle does­n’t have a bio. She just rants. Copy­right © 2018 Na­tal­ie Michelle. Pic­tured: The Of­fice, 1959, de­signed by Alexan­dre Trauner for Bil­ly Wilder’s The Apart­ment (1960).

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