fake plastic trees

 
goes to bed sober:

*bare­ly uses my Waterpik*
*all whiny and shit*
“Myaaaah­hh toooooo tiiiiiiired.”
*pets cat and goes to sleep*

 
vs.
 

(be­fore i) go to bed drunk:

*12 step Ko­re­an skin­care reg­i­men, hot show­er and ex­fo­li­a­tion, cleans teeth bet­ter than at the den­tist, puts all laun­dry away, fin­ish­es plant­i­ng spring bulbs, cor­rect­ly la­bels break­er switch­es, dusts the base­boards, files tax­es, dis­cov­ers cold fu­sion, builds a rock­et ship and flies it to Mars and back, flees to Penn­syl­va­nia, as­sumes a new iden­ti­ty, takes over a bar, fundrais­es for the lo­cal women’s vol­ley­ball team to at­tend re­gion­al fi­nals, goes back home, pets cat and goes to sleep*

Hey,

nobody’s per­fect, though.
I did fall asleep lis­ten­ing to the same Ra­dio­head song on repeat 🥴😂

Source

—emi­ly duchaine

Flom­mist Emi­ly Duchaine lives in the Pa­cif­ic North­west. She likes to drink mead, learn about sharks, and lis­ten to the Talk­ing Heads. She pre­tends to be a pro­fes­sion­al busi­ness­woman most days. Copy­right © 2021 Emi­ly Duchaine.

MOR D’ARTÍCULOS  MOR FLOMM !

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