saló

Two years ago, 

we host­ed Christ­mas at our house
for the first time 

and it was get­ting late and my in­laws wouldn’t leave, 

so I put on Die Hard
and with­in ten min­utes they were gone.
 

That didn’t work last year. 

They just stayed through the en­tire movie
un­til it was al­most 10:30

and made dis­ap­prov­ing com­men­tary when­ev­er any­one said the word “fuck.”
 

Clear­ly I may have to up the ante this year, 

so you know what that means:

Bad San­ta
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

 
 

—emi­ly duchaine

Flom­mist Emi­ly Duchaine lives in the Pa­cif­ic North­west. She likes to drink mead, learn about sharks, and lis­ten to the Talk­ing Heads. She pre­tends to be a pro­fes­sion­al busi­ness­woman most days. Copy­right © 2018 Emi­ly Duchaine.

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