digital

[EXT. DARK AL­LEY – 4AM – TYLER gets off work at the re­view quar­ry and looks to catch a cab home af­ter a long day. A shad­ow fig­ure ap­proach­es in a rac­coon ban­dit mask and pulls a knife]

ROB­BER:
Awright Mac, emp­ty your wallet.

TYLER:
Oh come on man, I’m just as broke as you are. Gimme a break.

ROB­BER:
Emp­ty that bag … slowly.

[A har­ried Tyler com­plies and be­gins emp­ty­ing his back­pack onto a closed garbage can. A sax­o­phone sounds from a mov­ing car off some­where in the night]

ROB­BER:
Juice­box … ba­nana peel…ok, *three* copies of Wel­come To Mooseport?

TYLER:
Ugh, the DVD has a com­men­tary that was nev­er port­ed to ei­ther the HD-DVD or Blu-Ray re­leas­es. The HD-DVD also has a warmer tone in the col­or tem­per­a­ture be­cause they worked from a Japan­ese Laserdisc mas­ter which is con­sid­ered the gold stan­dard as the film is more wide­ly re­spect­ed in the Asian market.

ROB­BER:
And the Blu-Ray?

TYLER:
Got­ta get the Ul­tra­vi­o­let code somehow.

[ROB­BER stares for what seems like an eternity]

ROB­BER:
Awright, I’ll take your elec­tron­ics. Hand over that phone – JE­SUS are you in the mid­dle of watch­ing this thing *right now*?!?!”

TYLER:
Well yeah, that’s what the Ul­tra­vi­o­let code was for. I have one left if you’d like that. Or if you give me your email I can hook you up if you have a Vudu account …

[ROB­BER stabs self and runs scream­ing into the night]

 

—ja­son malmberg

Flom­mist Ja­son Malm­berg is a sim­ple man who be­lieves in brown liquor and small dogs. He also makes art some­times. Copy­right © 2018 Ja­son Malmberg.

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