my first text after several months:
You know, you really are a piece of shit.
You kept going ON AND ON about how you’ve become such a better person since we dated in high school.
And I honestly wanted to give you the benefit of the doubt.
Hah. What a mistake that was!
You clearly haven’t changed at all.
It’s pretty disgusting for you to go along and pretend to be a friend when you noticed that I was at the most vulnerable point in my life.
And you reached out to me, acting like you wanted to be a friend.
You were insistent on “just being friends,” telling me you really just wanted to make sure that I was okay because you’d seen me post some of the craziness that has become my normal every day life.
And you were sooo genuine and excited to be my friend again …
You actually fooled me. And maybe that’s why I’m so angry.
Because it’s not like you forced me to do anything I didn’t want to do…
But you’ve made it VERY CLEAR that you are still the same asshole you were in high school.
Hah. Maybe you should try a career in acting.
Because you really made me believe that you’d changed for the better…
But you just ended up doing the same exact bullshit you’ve always done.
You are a shit stain of my existence.
I honestly wish I never met you.
his reply:
Hey, long time no talk. Idk what reminded you how much of a piece of shit I am in your eyes, but I am not trying to hurt you or anybody. And i really hope that you will let go of these feelings because they are heavy. Just wanted to say that before I go back to not letting these messages get to me. We all have our own struggles, and I wanted to be there for yours, but i cannot. So I am wishing you well, and hope you find peace. I will do the same.
my response, aka lengthy text:
HAH. REALLY?!
That is EXACTLY what you did though!
You messaged me and pretended like you actually cared and kept saying that you changed and whatever blah blah blah.
But that night we hung out? When we were in the jacuzzi that felt nice…
And I told you I didn’t want to do anything sexual.
I told you that MULTIPLE TIMES.
And yeah, I probably shouldn’t have gotten in the jacuzzi.
I really should have trusted my instincts.
But in that moment … I was so desperate to have some kind of human connection.
Also, jacuzzis are amazing so yeah. I did it for the OBJECT, not YOU.
But then laying in your bed …
You said you were tired and you just wanted someone to cuddle with.
Again, I know I should have left right then and there, but that probably would have made you angry.
And I didn’t know how I was going to get back home if I ended up pissing you off and you might have said something like,
“we’ll fine, just walk home then, slut!”
Of course, those could be my self deprecating thoughts getting the better of me that night …
But I agreed.
And then …
You did one of the most disgusting things anyone has ever done.
You pulled your cock out and started jerking off.
Saying something about how you
“couldn’t help it, you were just so turned on.”
I mean … WAT THE FUCK DUDE?!
You just HAD to do it, did you? Couldn’t help yourself?
HAH. THAT IS SO PATHETIC. AND GROSS.
AND YOU ARE AN ASSHOLE.
It made me feel so uncomfortable and so disgusting.
I realized at that moment, you’d never intended to just hang out as friends.
Nah.
You saw me as an easy target, and hunted me down like prey.
Of course, you completely ghosted me after that.
I dunno man, you might have changed in other ways in your life.
But you haven’t with me.
And that really hurts …
I honestly think that you just reach out to me when you’re desperate for sex and you know that I’m easily influenced so that’s why you talk to me.
That’s how you’ve treated me.
And that’s why I know you’re never going to change.
Prove me wrong or something. But I just wanted to call you out on your bullshit and let you know that your behavior was just … ughhh. It was such an awful feeling laying next to you while you did that.
And realizing that’s all you’ll ever be interested in me for.
It’s really fucked up. But ya know, you’re not the only one who’s done that.
And I have to take responsibility and say that I did go along with it.
You never forced me to do anything or whatever and I’ll never accuse you of that.
But yeah …
You made me feel like nothing but a sexual object.
Just had to tell you that.
I’m not even that angry about it anymore. I was when it happened. But yeah … it got brought up in a conversation that I was having with someone about narcissism and manipulative behaviors.
Hah. And it made me think of you.
Sorry. Not really though. Just being honest.
Lol.
I mean we could have talked about ANYTHING ELSE BESIDES SEX.
But THATS all you focused on. It’s just … it’s really sad, honestly.
But again, I was a fool for going along with it and thinking that you were different.
Some people never change, right?
—kaitlynjane
Flommist KAiTLYNjane has been drawing and writing stories ever since she knew how to scribble on a piece of paper, or her sister’s forehead when she was just two weeks old. Copyright © 2022 KAiTLYNjane.
PLEASE SUPPORT FLOMM
TIPS + DONATIONS DISCREETLY ACCEPTED