I feel like if I’m straightforward and assertive and decisive, it’ll be implied that I’m rigid and difficult and controlling, and that I don’t have people skills.
But if I’m sensitive, if I let something get to me, or if I prioritize kindness and empathy over being authoritative, the implication will be that I’m not strong enough, professional enough, or a good leader.
And it’s not just any one place. Or just the workplace. It’s everywhere.
I have never been able to figure out the everyday world, and the secret is that I’ve been faking it pretty much my entire life.
And I say ‘implied’ because for as much lip service is paid to the idea of open and honest communication, very few people actually practice that. You only find out that these character traits you didn’t instinctively know how to balance perfectly and adjust precisely for any given situation were considered problematic after the fact, and it’s never in a direct fashion. It’s through some unfavorable decision or passive aggressiveness or even just someone becoming a ghost.
—emily duchaine
Flommist Emily Duchaine lives in the Pacific Northwest. She likes to drink mead, learn about sharks, and listen to the Talking Heads. She pretends to be a professional businesswoman most days. Copyright © 2018 Emily Duchaine. Pictured: Crown Zellerbach Building, San Francisco, 1957, Source.
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