just messy

Read­ing a hair tu­to­r­i­al:

Hair How-To: The Messy Bun
For days that you pushed snooze one too many times.

Four­teen dif­fer­ent steps.

*in­ter­nal rage*

step 1
Start with su­per thick, su­per long hair.

Step 2
Be one of those peo­ple who se­ri­ous­ly doesn’t wash their hair, like, ever. You prob­a­bly work at a mi­cro­brew pub.

You also don’t shave your armpits. Your name is Sage.

This is too real.

Also, step 3: Be an ac­tu­al wiz­ard who can see the back of their own head while si­mul­ta­ne­ous­ly not con­fus­ing the left side from the right side.
—Na­tal­ie Michelle

 
Aaron point­ed out a cute girl with a messy bun at a lo­cal restau­rant here and asked why I nev­er do a messy bun.

Next time I’ll just tell him I’ll stop show­er­ing so I can do it.

I can­not do a messy bun.

I ei­ther end up with bun, or, this looks fuck­ing stu­pid. I hon­est­ly think I’m go­ing to cut it all off next spring.

 

‘Now you have a per­fect messy bun!’

‘I have a gi­ant flop­py loop sur­round­ed by a rat’s nest.’

 

 

—emi­ly duchaine

Flom­mist Emi­ly Duchaine lives in the Pa­cif­ic North­west. She likes to drink mead, learn about sharks, and lis­ten to the Talk­ing Heads. She pre­tends to be a pro­fes­sion­al busi­ness­woman most days. Copy­right © 2018 Emi­ly Duchaine.

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