today’s q

Blind Item:
There’s a yoga teacher at a well-known Sacra­men­to Mid­town yoga stu­dio get­ting deep into QAnon.

“Save the children!”

I’m with you. We need gun con­trol now!

“NO! Not like that!”

Well we should stop sex­u­al­iz­ing them. There’s a new French movie com­ing to Net­flix about this very—

“NO! Not like that!”

Uh. Well ok. We could sup­port the Biden/Harris tick­et. You know they’ve both got long records of women’s rights leg­is­la­tion and fight­ing sex traffick—

“NO! NO NO NO NO NO!”

Uh. So. What are you ad­vo­cat­ing again?

“Merch! And un­sourced sen­sa­tion­al­is­tic YouTubes! And TRUMP!”

Trump? Epstein’s bro Trump? The one that used to spy on naked teenage beau­ty con­tes­tants in the dress­ing room and who has been cred­i­bly ac­cused of vi­o­lent­ly rap­ing a 13 year old?

That Trump?

“SAVE THE CHIL­DRENNNN! WHERE WE GO ONE WE GO DELU­SION­AL AND BAT­SHIT! .…. MERCH!”

Blind Item:
There’s a yoga teacher at a well-known Sacra­men­to Mid­town yoga stu­dio get­ting deep into Trump­ism.

Frankly,
QAnon needs to “Where We Go All” into the fuck­ing ocean.

Also right about now is when you find out how many of your mil­i­tary friends are ac­tu­al­ly pa­tri­ots vs. just be­ing fat losers that want­ed un­ques­tioned re­spect from a title:

And, as I sus­pect, here’s hoping

that the QAnon and maskholes

Venn di­a­gram is a per­fect circle

and we get a thin-out the food

chain twofer.

I’ll be plain as can be:
If you be­lieve that QAnon bull­shit you are dumb­er than the paste you eat by the handful.

I’m amazed you re­mem­ber to breathe.

And no,
I don’t know any­one that wants to buy Lu­LaRoe shit.

 

—ja­son malmberg

Flom­mist Ja­son Malm­berg is a sim­ple man who be­lieves in brown liquor and small dogs. He also makes art some­times. Copy­right © 2020 Ja­son Malmberg.

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