malls all used to have one store that was only there to sell monsterously huge cookies that were decorated with cake icing

It’s weird that I can be so nos­tal­gic for the by­gone era of christ­mas shop­ping at malls while find­ing ac­tu­al shop­ping at stores now to be the very de­f­i­n­i­tion of soul-crushing.

Maybe its cuz malls don’t have en­tire stores de­vot­ed to sell­ing pop­corn balls or piz­za in a cup* anymore.

The charm … it is gone.

Or maybe I only re­al­ly want to go back in time to a cir­ca 1979 mall to fight zom­bies in it.

Or dri­ve through it dur­ing a high-speed po­lice chase.

If I can day­dream about one im­pos­si­ble sce­nario, then why not two?

* Back when I was in el­e­men­tary school a hun­dred years ago, the school tried to make lunch fun(!) by do­ing piz­za in a cup since it was a craze for about 8 weeks in the ear­ly 80s. But in­stead of mak­ing piz­za in a cup, they sim­ply took that doughy bread­tan­gle of shit­ty pub­lic school piz­za every­one knows, rolled it up, put it in a sty­ro­foam cup, and gave you a spork. It was near­ly im­pos­si­ble to eat with­out just pulling the piz­za out and un­rolling it to eat it like you would have nor­mal­ly in the first place.

So many bro­ken sporks.

—ja­son malmberg

Flom­mist Ja­son Malm­berg is a sim­ple man who be­lieves in brown liquor and small dogs. He also makes art some­times. Copy­right © 2019 Ja­son Malmberg.

MOR D’ARTÍCULOS  MOR FLOMM !

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