cigar time

“HOLY SHIT ROGUE ONE”
—Crispin Kott, ac­tu­al au­thor peo­ple pay real mon­ey to write things 

I loved Force Awak­ens.
I nev­er felt I couldn’t iden­ti­fy with Rey cuz she didn’t have a wangdang.

Loved Fury Road.
I nev­er felt I could­n’t iden­ti­fy with Fu­riosa be­cause she didn’t have a ding dong. 

Not sure why this is a big deal for some dudes. 

I could iden­ti­fy with In­di­ana Jones even though I had less in com­mon with Har­ri­son Ford than I do with a dis­count footstool. 

He­roes ain’t got­ta pack mad jean meat to be he­roes, yo.

(Which is not meant to in­sult any hero­ic women with ex­treme­ly pro­nounced labia. I am speak­ing in generalities.)
 
 

—ja­son malmberg

Flom­mist Ja­son Malm­berg is a sim­ple man who be­lieves in brown liquor and small dogs. He also makes art some­times. Copy­right © 2016 Ja­son Malmberg.

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