Once upon a time, as a whimsical 22 year old couch-surfing vagrant, I passed parts of the summer playing guitar and laying in the grass of parks and/or apartment complex lawns, because even though I almost never go outside, something about rolling around in the dirt grounds me in a deeper emotional sense. I really had no grip on my emotions at that time, but amidst the chaos it appeared I may have entirely created for myself, it’s the first instance I recall of genuinely trying to transcend.
On one of those grassy afternoons, I was joined by an attractive hippie-haired stranger, who told me how he had just realized the oneness of everything and found peace, then asked if I wanted him to show me. We pressed our palms together and silently stared at each other all googly-eyed for like a legit hour, then hugged and parted ways forever.
I don’t know if the energy I felt flowing through me was spiritual, sexual, a contact high from someone else’s LSD trip, or just the obscene heat of trying to hold hands in Sacramento summer, but it was intense enough that I remember and account for it as an actual step in my journey, to wherever it is I am finding myself now.
—bwargh von modnar
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