i just started liking ipas so they’d better keep it going

When­ev­er I see a head­line about how 

“Mil­len­ni­als are killing the __________ in­dus­try!”

I think,

“You’re wel­come. It was a dumb in­dus­try, anyway.”
 

“Mil­len­ni­als are killing the frozen food industry.”

“Mil­len­ni­als are killing Amer­i­can Cheese.”

“Mil­len­ni­als are killing the chain restau­rant industry.”

“Mil­len­ni­als are killing the mi­crowave oven industry.”

“Mil­len­ni­als are killing the fast food industry.”

“Mil­len­ni­als are killing malls.”

“Mil­len­ni­als are killing the hol­i­day shop­ping tradition.”

“Mil­len­ni­als are killing Applebees.”

“Mil­len­ni­als are …”
 

Look, I know wages have been stag­nant since 1974 but did any­one also stop to think maybe Mil­len­ni­als de­cid­ed all these things are dumb and they’re go­ing to spend what mon­ey they do have on bet­ter things?
 
 
 
 
 

Fast food restau­rants are weird though, right?
 

—emi­ly duchaine

Flom­mist Emi­ly Duchaine lives in the Pa­cif­ic North­west. She likes to drink mead, learn about sharks, and lis­ten to the Talk­ing Heads. She pre­tends to be a pro­fes­sion­al busi­ness­woman most days. Copy­right © 2018 Emi­ly Duchaine.

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