(Sing to the tune of Dick in a Box)
Hey Aaron,
We got some real important papers we need to find
But, uh, just sit down and listen
Boy you know we’ve been together such a long long time
(Such a long time)
And now we’re ready to lay it on the line
Wow, you know it’s September, and our wallets are open wide
(Open wide)
Buyin’ a house together is what’s been on my mind
(What’s on my mind)
But they need lot of paperwork, tons of important docs
And I didn’t file any of it – I threw that shit in a box
(It’s in a box)
I didn’t put it in a three-ring
Didn’t give much thought to anything
Everything is spread out wide and far
For all I know, some of it’s in my car
Now, please don’t worry, we’ve paid all the bills
And I keep tellin’ myself, “Dude, I gotta get real …”
I should have just filed it from the start
But I’m a lazy girl
I threw that shit in a box
(I threw that shit in a box, hon)
I threw that shit in a box
Ooh, all that shit’s in some box, yeah
See I’m wise enough to know
When a form needs savin’, and I got every one
The only problem is, I can’t seem to get the filing done
To all the couples out there who don’t care to impress
It’s easy to do, just follow these steps
1) find any old box
2) put all that shit in the box
3) then just look in that box
And that’s the way you do it
I threw that shit in a box
(I threw that shit in a box, hon)
I threw that shit in a box
Ooh, all that shit’s in some box, yeah
Tax returns, that shit’s in a box
Bank statements, that shit’s in a box
Pay stubs, that shit’s in a box
Every single document, that shit’s in a box
Proof of identification, all that shit’s in a box
Copies of our marriage license, that shit’s in a box
Life insurance riders, yeah that shit’s in a box
All our shit’s in a box
—emily duchaine
Flommist Emily Duchaine lives in the Pacific Northwest. She likes to drink mead, learn about sharks, and listen to the Talking Heads. She pretends to be a professional businesswoman most days. Copyright © 2018 Emily Duchaine.
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