Today
is the 181st in a series of 366 Straight Pride Days we will be celebrating this year.
And
as I look out upon the crowd of hostile, beaming, prideful faces I find myself humbled to be in the presence of so many angry white dudes that no one wants to give sex to.
Today
you can listen to heavy rock music or you can have a Mtn Dew Code Red but you cannot do both.
And
the reason why is that you will microwave the baby.
Now
I turn things over to our parade grand marshall Kid Rock!
—jason malmberg
* Sponsored by Dockers Cargo Shorts
Flommist Jason Malmberg is a simple man who believes in brown liquor and small dogs. He also makes art sometimes. Copyright © 2016 Jason Malmberg. Video cap source.
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