• Elon Musk says creepy shit to Taylor Swift
• Trump accuses Haitian immigrants of eating people’s pets in Ohio
• Russell Brand won’t shut up about his Christianity
• Perry Ferrell punches Dave Navarro on stage
• Dave Grohl blew his wad in his mistress and has a kid
Hey, Elon:
What a bunch of losers.
They’re all rich and have everything they could ever want. Imagine having all the resources and being this bad at life.
Seriously, they should give me their money.
Not even all of it. Just some. I could do so much better.
—emily duchaine
Flommist Emily Duchaine lives in the Pacific Northwest. She likes to drink mead, learn about sharks, and listen to the Talking Heads. She pretends to be a professional businesswoman most days. Copyright © 2024 Emily Duchaine.
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