I was playing around with Snapchat filters as I’m wont to do, and couldn’t help but love this one.
Not sure if it was seeing myself in hoops again or what, but it brought out something in me I haven’t seen in a while, if ever – that total #xingona vibe. And I can’t think of a better photo to close out the past decade.
We all get reflective this time of year, and this photo seemed fitting for the transition from cancer survivor to THRIVER. But when it belatedly occurred to me that this is also the end of a decade, I was shocked to recall everything I’ve survived, not just cancer.
Those who have known me a long time know the past 10 years have dealt me blow after blow: Countless losses (jobs, friends, family and loved ones), financial duress, ever-declining health, severe anxiety, violent physical assaults, advanced cancer …
But I’m still standing.
How the hell did I get through it all? How did I do all that and live to tell the tale – and oftentimes crack jokes about it?
I don’t have a better answer than the admission that yes, I am a fucking badass.
It hasn’t been easy and I haven’t always gone through things with grace. But my survival instinct and desire to thrive are STRONG; I see that now. That goal I have every year to see the strength others see in me? I’ve reached it. I have no excuse to ever doubt my badassery again.
The next decade will come with its own challenges, I know that.
But even as I enter it battered, maimed, broken, and burned, I also know I will face those challenges and beat them. Just like I’ve beaten everything else.
It took the whole decade, but here, at the beginning of 2020, I finally got the memo that that’s who I am.
Xingona. Berraca. Total effing BADASS.
—kimberly a. morales
Flommist Kimberly A. Morales is a food and wellness blogger, and patron saint of cats. Copyright © 2019/2020 Kimberly A. Morales. Top image: Favourite hoodie.
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