“Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful committed citizens can change the world with poorly written blog posts masquerading as journalism explaining to people why they should be offended by things celebrities do.”
—Kate Willett
Me, watching a movie from a year ago:
Oh wow, they had laptops and smartphones back then.
Also me, watching a movie from the 40s:
Every framed picture is a laptop or tablet.
I make calls
on my cellular telephone
at the grocer
that the other clientele
might think
I am a famous star.
Even though it is the end of Camelot in our own times.
And every single time I see a Republican Star Trek fan (and this happens much more than I’d have ever expected) I just have to assume they are jumpsuit enthusiasts.
Fuck Poptimism.
What we need right now are fight songs.
This traitor (above) needs out of office NOW.
Oh and thanks again Green Party protest voters, this shit is absolutely on you too.
“It is no longer a certainty that America will remain a stable country governed by an impartial rule of law. You could argue it no longer is.”
—Brett Arends
And it’s dead on. There is a right wing cancer in this country. And we’ve seen this story play out too many times before in history. Just. Like. This.
If you’re the kind of person that dismisses an entire essay because you ‘had to stop reading’ because
• poor syntax
• misspellings/grammar
• snap disagreement with its premise out of hand … then I congratulate you on being intellectually lazy.
Further, no one is obligated to care what you think about it, but thanks for your wholly-performative “harrumph.”
Someone in jolly old England just bought my Dance to Farts shirt (above) so it seems that in the age of Trump it falls to ol Malmberg to keep our Western alliances intact.
These are the lyrics to Cheap Trick’s Downed in case we need them later:
Downed, downed out of my head
’round, ’round out of my head
I’m gonna live on a mountain
Way down under in Australia
It’s either that or suicide
It’s such a strange strain on you
Oh, i got a mind
Over you it’s not the first time
Oh, i got a mind
Rainbow’s crawling on a midday sun
But i’ve been lucky you’re the only one
Sunday’s calling, you’ll be number one
It’s such a strange strain on you
Oh, you think of Jesus Christ
You walk on water but don’t bet your life, oh no
All you walk is a fine line
It’s such a strange strain on you
Downed, downed out of my head
’round, ’round out of my head
Too many people want to save the world
Another problem is it a boy or girl
Some say the weekend is the only world
It’s such a strange strain on you
Oh, i’ve got a mind
Over you it’s not the first time
All you walk is a fine line
It’s such a strange strain on you
Downed, downed out of my head
’round, ’round out of my head
Downed, downed out of my head
’round, ’round out of my head
Stand by.
[Ticker tape punch card processing sounds]
When I’m down I make a call
Got the number written on the wall
First it’s busy then I try again
Oh, who’s she talking to, could it be him?
I got the number and it starts to ring
I get excited and I start to dream
I start to fantasize of memory lane
Then she answers and she says right way
She says “I’m home on my own, home all alone”
So I got off the phone
She’s tight
She’s ahead of her time
She’s tight
She’s one of a kind
She’s tight
She’s a talented girl
She’s tight
She’s got her head down tight
I have something got to say to you
Amnesia and my train of thought
On the tip, the tip of my tongue
I had a vision when I was young
You floated in, we floated up
Through the window and down the hall
I had a smoke and went upstairs
Turned the door and opened the key
She spoke “I’m on my own, home all alone”
So I got off the phone
She’s tight
She’s ahead of her time
She’s tight
She’s one of a kind
She’s tight
She’s a talented girl
She’s tight
She’s got her head down tight
She’s tight
She’s giving me the go
She’s tight
She’s giving me the high sign
She’s tight
We’ll turn off the lights
She’s tight
Pull down the shades
She’s nice, she’s tight
Turn on the cam’ra
She’s nice, she’s tight
And getting ready for action
She’s nice, she’s tight
She’s nice, she’s tight
Turn off the radio
She’s nice, she’s tight
She’s nice, she’s tight
Turn on the video
She’s nice, she’s tight
She’s giving me the go
She’s nice, she’s tight
She’s giving me the high sign
She’s nice, she’s tight
We’ll turn off the lights
She’s nice, she’s tight
Pull down the shades
She’s nice, she’s tight
Turn on the cam’ra
Cut to:
Willem Dafoe starting a rumble with an airhorn.
—jason malmberg
Flommist Jason Malmberg is a simple man who believes in brown liquor and small dogs. He also makes art sometimes. Copyright © 2017 Jason Malmberg. Cept for the other stuff.
PLEASE SUPPORT FLOMM
TIPS + DONATIONS DISCREETLY ACCEPTED