i feel really manipulated by baby yoda

Of course I want a baby fuck­ing Yoda, es­pe­cial­ly set with­in a pulpy 70s sci-fi spaghet­ti Western.

I want that BIG TIME and yes, I also want the ac­com­pa­ny­ing mer­chan­dise and to just con­tin­ue throw­ing my mon­ey from now un­til the end of time at what­ev­er baby Yoda (that looks like a fuck­ing cute­ass tiny green fen­nec fox) spin-offs, ap­pear­ances, and sto­ry­lines that fol­low The Man­dalo­ri­an.

I want all of that. I would watch ac­tu­al hours of Baby Yoda just nap­ping okay, and I would be like “Tight. Here’s my money.”

Like, I swear to God you guys if Baby Yoda talks, I’m gonna lose all my money.

Well done Hol­ly­wood, you have my number.

Good work. You took all that big data you’ve col­lect­ed about me over the years and de­liv­ered to the let­ter what would make me spend my money –

Adorable as fuck Baby Yoda.

 

“Hey, let’s not re­lease any baby Yoda shit for the hol­i­days so we don’t un­in­ten­tion­al­ly spoil that plot point. It’s not like there’s the in­ter­net – which is more or less the very thing we are re­leas­ing the show on – and peo­ple will be talk­ing about it all over so­cial me­dia and then places where we aren’t re­leas­ing it will get pissed and pi­rate it any­way and …”
—Dis­ney, mak­ing a ridicu­lous­ly stu­pid de­ci­sion that makes ab­solute­ly no sense

 

COME ON.

 

—na­tal­ie michelle

Flom­mist Na­tal­ie Michelle does­n’t have a bio. She just rants. Copy­right © 2019 Na­tal­ie Michelle. Quote via Emi­ly Duchaine.

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