“That’s my dad!”
—Gus Walz at the DNC last night
It checks that conservatives would be making fun of Tim and Gus Walz’s show of affection for each other.
It doesn’t surprise me one bit.
Before Aaron started dating me, his family didn’t hug. We’d say hello or goodbye and there was no physical interaction. Just an awkward posturing of bodies near the doorway and an avoidance of eye contact before we shuffled off and went home.
After a while I took a risk and started giving them hugs and they gradually began initiating them. Aaron himself even had to get better about just being hugged or me needing to hug and hold him.
It’s one thing if someone just isn’t a hugger and I respect that but this is a whole other issue entirely. There’s a lot you can take away from a family that shows no physical affection whatsoever.
I’ve heard stories from my sister in law about the very real milestones my mother in law neglected to notice or even ask about. I won’t go into them here, but let’s just say they’re Major Failings on a Basic Level. And they’re rooted in extreme Christian fundamentalism and the cruelty inherent in modern day conservative politics.
I’ve heard my MIL say shit about homeless people that no self-professed Christian who actually follows Jesus would ever think, let alone say.
My FIL attempted to tell each of his adult children what he was proud of in them and couldn’t come up with anything meaningful. Not a goddamn thing.
I think he said of Aaron, “He’s good at his job.” A father should be able to say more about his son than that, especially when his son is Aaron.
“Family values,”
“Christian values,”
“American values,” it’s all a fucking smoke screen.
I don’t need to tell this to anyone who regularly reads what I write, but it’s all fake. The people who sell it don’t actually believe it and the people who buy it don’t actually embody it.
Rigid fundamentalism and far right policies create people to control and those with the power to control.
Any show of genuine emotion or kindness or empathy or vulnerability is met with disdain because it’s a threat to their power and their ability to control.
It makes people who are being controlled (and who in turn want to control others) uncomfortable because it forces them to confront their miserable, hateful realities.
—emily duchaine
Flommist Emily Duchaine lives in the Pacific Northwest. She likes to drink mead, learn about sharks, and listen to the Talking Heads. She pretends to be a professional businesswoman most days. Copyright © 2024 Emily Duchaine.
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