How the fuck do I end up around these people?
I’m in my favorite pho restaurant and there’s only one other occupied table in here and these people are talking as loud as humanly possible.
Like,
if you looked up the definition of “quintessential state worker boomer” in the dictionary, a picture of them at lunch would be on the page.
Then one of the women complained she hadn’t gotten her Chardonnay yet (fuckin’ lol) and when the server said it was coming and went to get it, she waited a beat before quietly remarking
“so is Christmas.”
Then
I had to get the attention of the server because my order was wrong and when I said,
“Excuse me,”
the entire table stopped talking and turned to look at me.
After the server started walking toward me, the loudest one said,
“Oh I thought she was talking to me.”
I am
hard pressed to think of another person I’ve seen in my life who looks more like Cathy from the comics, and BOTH these women do.
Now
she’s loudly demonstrating how Luciano Pavarotti sang Nessun Dorma –
I live in a goddamn sitcom.
—emily duchaine
Flommist Emily Duchaine lives in the Pacific Northwest. She likes to drink mead, learn about sharks, and listen to the Talking Heads. She pretends to be a professional businesswoman most days. Copyright © 2019 Emily Duchaine.
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