getting into politics

Been think­ing: Maybe I should just run for Pres­i­dent.

Pres­i­den­tial as­sas­si­na­tion is­n’t a bad way to go out, right?

I won’t be old enough for two more elec­tions. That’s enough time to … get my shit to­geth­er. Or leave the coun­try. You know, ei­ther one.

I think the trick to run­ning as a Lib­er­tar­i­an and/or An­ar­chist is to let your own par­ty know what’s up, but then lie to every­one else.

I’ll need some­one good for my vice though. Maybe John McAfee.

He’s just para­noid enough and he’d be good at se­cu­ri­ty. He could get things done when con­ven­tion­al ap­proach­es aren’t work­ing ’cause he don’t give a fu­u­uck.

He’d be like the bad cop to my good cop. If there’s bad news, have him de­liv­er it. And I can send him into all the dan­ger­ous-for-a-woman-to-be-in cir­cum­stances in for­eign re­la­tions.

When think­ing of how to solve some of our prob­lems, I would say it’s not to make more rules – which seems to be what every new can­di­date wants to do. I want there to be less rules, and more ed­u­cat­ing peo­ple on how to take an ac­tive role as cit­i­zens … I don’t think we have the world’s biggest prison pop­u­la­tion for a lack of rules.

We could give more of the peo­ple what they need, with less Fed­er­al Leg­is­la­tion and more peo­ple giv­ing a shit about be­ing part of their com­mu­ni­ty, lo­cal­ly – by the coun­ty or state.

Then we get the lazy peo­ple to step up and do stuff – by con­vinc­ing them to be bet­ter peo­ple through the lame TV shows they watch.

Mind con­trol? Well, I mean, the ma­chine is al­ready there, soo …

Big cor­po­ra­tions may have a prob­lem with this. Agen­das, share­hold­ers, and the like.

Just need to get Big Busi­ness­es to stop in­vest­ing in shit­ty things, and … get them to in­vest in some non-shit­ty things in­stead.

But as Pres­i­dent, I can’t re­al­ly make them do that.

Had some­one kin­da re­cent­ly ex­plain to me that cor­po­ra­tions them­selves, if they were just be­ing nor­mal cor­po­ra­tions, is­n’t the prob­lem so much the gov’t giv­ing them so much mon­ey they can’t fail, and that fucks things up for any­one else try­ing to have/start a busi­ness.

But the oth­er prob­lem with cor­po­ra­tions – as they are struc­tured – they’re pro­tect­ed when they do ter­ri­ble shit. So if a cor­po­ra­tion is fine and nice, but some­one work­ing for the cor­po­ra­tion de­cides to abuse what they’re do­ing, the cor­po­ra­tion usu­al­ly lets them get away with it if num­bers go up.

This will go on un­til some­one points out to them what’s re­al­ly go­ing on, like maybe a lawyer or two, then they fire that per­son, apol­o­gize, say nice things. And they make an ex­am­ple of this bad em­ploy­ee, who was a re­al­ly good em­ploy­ee just last week.

The cor­po­ra­tion changes their poli­cies, etc. so it nev­er, ever hap­pens again – then an­oth­er some­one finds an­oth­er bad way to make num­bers go up and the cy­cle con­tin­ues.

But they should be real care­ful about how they do all this – be­cause when I’m Pres­i­dent, no one is go­ing to bail them out if they screw up.

Which is how I end up as­sas­si­nat­ed.
 

Flocked av­o­ca­do tex­tiles, har­vest yel­low desk
 

How’s this for a cam­paign promise:

‘My FIRST WEEK as pres­i­dent, I will …

‘curl up real small un­der my desk and cry be­cause the world is mad at us and every­thing just got su­per over­whelm­ing.’
 
#bwargh2024
 
 

—bwargh von mod­nar

Flom­mist Bwargh von Mod­nar is. Copy­right © 2016 Bwargh von Mod­nar. Pic­tured: Taft’s Oval Of­fice and a dash of Boul­lée.‬

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