It’s weird that I can be so nostalgic for the bygone era of christmas shopping at malls while finding actual shopping at stores now to be the very definition of soul-crushing.
Maybe its cuz malls don’t have entire stores devoted to selling popcorn balls or pizza in a cup* anymore.
The charm … it is gone.
Or maybe I only really want to go back in time to a circa 1979 mall to fight zombies in it.
Or drive through it during a high-speed police chase.
If I can daydream about one impossible scenario, then why not two?
* Back when I was in elementary school a hundred years ago, the school tried to make lunch fun(!) by doing pizza in a cup since it was a craze for about 8 weeks in the early 80s. But instead of making pizza in a cup, they simply took that doughy breadtangle of shitty public school pizza everyone knows, rolled it up, put it in a styrofoam cup, and gave you a spork. It was nearly impossible to eat without just pulling the pizza out and unrolling it to eat it like you would have normally in the first place.
So many broken sporks.
—jason malmberg
Flommist Jason Malmberg is a simple man who believes in brown liquor and small dogs. He also makes art sometimes. Copyright © 2019 Jason Malmberg.
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