“I didn’t really much care for all the religious stuff. Made me feel uncomfortable, like I was in church or something. I liked the Russian music, though.”
—One guy’s response to experiencing a live choir and orchestra perform Brahms
Well, I was awake for all of about an hour today before a family member was already mad at me for being ‘Against Christ.’
The only thing I love about being a UU more than exhausting conversations with people who think all flavors of spirituality are exclusively for evil, anti-intellectual strawmen, is my Christian Conservative family telling me what a godless heathen I am, and versing me on all of the religious lessons that are already so hardwired in my brain I couldn’t forget them if I tried (spoilers: I have tried).
Somehow I always manage to be simultaneously Jesus-ing too hard and not hard enough. Like some kind of cosmic USB stick, always in the wrong position.
I guess I devoted years of my life to being a weird religious kid solely so I could have the worst of every world.
I feel like I have been asked so seldomly about what I actually think or believe in, proportional to how many times I’ve been berated for whatever a person decided to project onto me instead of bothering to ask.
Maybe I should set up a stand in my front yard like Lucy from Peanuts, so people can pay in nickels to talk to me like I’m somebody else in their life that they’re already very upset with.
Sorry for saying that I think what plants are considered ‘weeds’ is a human construct, and that God can still hear you spelling out your swear words.
THE SHEEP SHALL BE SEPARATED FROM THE GOATS, AND I AM A GOAT.
*takes a slow bite out of a soda can*
—bwargh von modnar
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